Four Stages of Love Part II

Continued from yesterday (Four Stages of Love Part I)...

Stage Four: Is perfect union between the couple and God, “they are the clearest incarnation of Jesus in space and time.  They do only what they hear God saying.  They are known for what God is known for… They are not just positively dependent on one another, but now they are interdependent and together facing the world.”  Together they face trials and discover a unity deeper than momentary differences because God is working in them and through them.  They are aware that growth happens slowly with the passage of time and wisdom, for saints do not happen overnight it’s a lifelong process; thus, they cultivate godly patience.  “Stage four is what the saints are made of and what the world so desperately is longing to see,” authentic Christians united under one common good, love.  Though both people need to be close to God’s authoritative role, they want to be near Him because He creates life in the two allowing for “Jesus to come out from them.”  In His presence they grow strong.  “Those with (God’s) inner authority draw life from within because there is life within- not just laws and principles, duties, or fears, but life.  And they know that what wisdom has taught them: You can only build life.”  They do not attribute this life to themselves, but are insistent that it’s a gift and are anxious to give it away to others because they know, “it cannot be earned, diminished or hoarded. It’s not theirs.  They do not possess it as much as it possesses them.”  God teaches and gives the two the ability to love deeply to believe in each other and gives them a true spirit of servanthood.  All these gifts are meant to be shared in the family and in community at large.  What begins as a union of two people with God has a greater purpose and that is to reach and serve the world.  To become a family within a community that both can serve.  I once read that children are God’s way of making lovers less selfish, because when two people come together there’s a desire to keep that love to themselves instead of sharing it - and children bring an opportunity to share that love.  God has great plans for people in love, reaching the marriage vocation is not the end, but only the beginning of a mutual process of sanctification.  Our love story doesn’t end as Hollywood romantic comedies with a big wedding feast, they BEGIN with sacramental marriage.  For God will challenge us until we reach heaven to grow and mature in our faith, love and trust.  His plan is one of constant renewal and an adventure that I hope love finds me worthy of embarking with my one and only (smile).

“We probably will go through these stages many different times in our love life and in many different ways. But once we have experienced and chosen at least a stage-three existence, I doubt that we could ever be satisfied with an ongoing stage-one or stage-two response.”  After we have discovered true love and formed a strong union- as exciting and emotionally powerful as the initial steps of falling in love are there’s nothing more beautiful than the real deal.  Yet, as we are navigating through the initial steps of falling love, we must learn to enjoy the present experience because every stage has its beauty, its wonder and also its challenges that will bring us closer and move us along our very own unique journey of love (smile).  The four steps together of falling in love (as taken from Richard Rohr) can seem quite intimidating, but remember that it’s a process that takes years, decades an entire lifetime because saints don’t happen overnight.  Friendship is a great beginning rushing to the finish line is not wise.  Patience as always in this process is a virtue that rejoices with small advances forward.  And when traveling with a friend, we are no longer alone not even during the uncomfortable beginning stages and that’s pretty comforting (smile).