Last night my friend convinced me to go with her to the
annual Young Catholic Professionals Christmas party, graciously hosted in one
of the beautiful Coto de Casa homes in Mission Viejo. In a moment of weakness I accepted the invitation
even though I am not charmed by networking events, not even when they are Catholic. I mean seriously to an introvert there’s
nothing worse than being surrounded by strangers and having to make small talk
for a few hours. Yet, my buddy raved
about the party all year long and her excitement only grew as the date
approached so my curiosity got the best of me. I have been to a couple of the YCP events in
the past and while they are quite popular bringing great numbers at each
monthly event, I prefer low key, informal gatherings. This is not to say that the organization isn’t
a great place to make and foster friendships, or to network with others in both
career and spiritual matters. I think if
you are new in town and want to get to know other like minded people this is a
place where the mission is Catholicism in the professional world and it’s open
to both single and married individuals.
I am not a regular attendee because I get stressed out just thinking of
making small talk. Is there anything
worse than a night of pieces of forced conversation? For extroverts, like my friend there’s
nothing more fun than roaming the room connecting with others - for me I prefer
a corner and one interesting person.
Yesterday, without trying I met two really interesting
girls: one a scientist and the other a missionary from Florida. After arriving at the beautiful home I
decided that I was not going to force myself to pull out the “small talk”
manual, instead I was just going to float around quietly enjoying my
surroundings and listening to the cheerful music while zipping on a glass of
sweet, white wine. I had forgotten how
fun it is to people watch! Actually, I
began by enjoying the home décor, the owners have the same obsession with
nativities that I do and while their displays where porcelain masterpieces it
made me happy to see someone with a similar collection. I walked around the beautifully furnished
home as if I were inside a museum full of Christian art. I was lost in my little world when I bumped
into the first interesting girl; she was wearing this amazing gold, maxi
skirt. I commented on her skirt and the
conversation took off into a great discussion about JPII Theology of the
Body. She happens to be with a small
group of missionaries that travel teaching groups of high schoolers (throughout
parishes in the dioceses of California) about chastity, modesty and sexuality.
After our
conversation came to a close I went into another room and sort of squeeze
myself into a corner intending to people watch when I met the second
interesting girl. She was making her way
towards the coffee and I happened to be standing in the way as she politely
asked me to squeeze by we began a conversation. She asked me about the group, and how long I
had been attending their events and how I liked it. Without thought I told her that I was not a
huge fan of networking events because I am terrible at small talk. Then we had a great conversation on the topic of introversion and how to get more comfortable in situations like the one I was
in. I told her that I am not too shabby
at starting discussions with others my trouble is that I don’t know how to
exit. So, she shared how she has been
reading a book on how to successfully network and the book suggested things
like, “I need to go refill my drink, or excuse me I need to use the restroom…”
As positive exit strategies (smile).
White Elephant Game.
Host giving a speech.
So, in one night I learned the following: at networking
functions I don’t need to talk to everyone nor do I need to feel pressured to
talk to someone. Not forcing the
conversation is the best way to find compatible people. I decided that instead of speaking with the
first person I bumped into I would scan the room and providence provided a girl
in a shiny skirt to peak my interest.
Then, I decided that I wasn’t going to put on act, but be honest and I
met the second interesting person who taught me exit strategies (smile). There was also a white elephant gift activity
and I am glad I participated because that was another way to interact with others
without the awkwardness of small talk. I
even won a “Stanger Things” tee in the gift exchange! While I still don’t forsee attending YCP meetings regularly I learned some great lessons to help me in the
future and I am passing on the wisdom. Have a Merry
Christmas!
My buddy and I with our winning gifts.
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