I came back to the Catholic Church after a long journey as an agnostic
and then a protestant Christian. I also
returned with great need. In 2007, I was
learning to live with my new bipolar diagnoses and had just began treatment. Mentally and emotionally I
was in a really dark, insecure place.
Life had little meaning, I was unemployed because I couldn’t keep a job
and I had told my mom that if God didn’t help me soon that I was going to take
my life. One day she took me to three
parishes to speak with different priests and though all made the time to speak
with me I left their offices in the same state of desolation. At Our Lady of the Pillar Church, I was
meeting the third priest of the day.
Even though I didn’t have an appointment he made the time to speak with
me. He quietly listened as I shared my
darkness. When I was done, he said,
“Sometimes people with depression feel so heavy because they only see their
hurt. I want you to go and look for an opportunity to volunteer your time
helping someone else.”
The young adult group that I was attending invited me to visit Saint
Francis Senior Home that following Sunday.
Though I felt like I had nothing to contribute, I accepted the
invitation. When I got to the home, I was
the only one in the young adult group who spoke English so they asked me to
lead the two-hour visit. Those two hours
taught me that even at my most broken state I still had much to contribute. A simple visit with lonely, abandoned, aging women showed me that suffering wasn’t just inside me it was very present in the
world and in my community. And, I didn’t
have to offer a grand gesture to help those hurting – my presence and my listening
ear gave those women so much joy. As I
continued to help at the senior home, the sisters who run it told our group how
knowing that our group was visiting would motivate their ladies to leave their
beds, shower and get ready for their visitors, “On the Sunday's you come, we
have no trouble getting the ladies to shower.
They are so happy for visitors that they run out of bed and into the
shower.”
They love to dance!
Soon I became the coordinator of the Sunday visits and one day I decided
to have a manicure pampering day. The
sisters again shared their joy because sometimes they don’t have enough time or
people to trim the ladies’ nails. These
small gestures made such an impression in the lives of the women of Saint
Francis Senior Home, but also taught me that service is the most healing,
rewarding, uplifting thing a person with depression can do. Jesus told us that he came into this world to
serve and we must imitate what he taught us.
Service saved my life! In my spiritual journey I have fallen madly in
love with God and this passion continues to inspire me to live a life doing
good. I crave to reach heaven and hear
God say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”
I think they've enjoyed having Dollar (in costume) come visit- more than me!
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