So Long 2015: My Six for 2016

This is the time of year when we begin making our New Year’s resolutions.  The theme of “new year, new you” dominates the media and while there’s nothing wrong with setting goals to motivate us to become better people- many of us mimic the popular culture and make extremely superficial aims.  Objectives so insignificant that really don’t challenge or inspire us to continue our earthly transformation into better versions of ourselves.  I was reading an article comparing the New Year resolutions between people in third world countries versus people in developed countries and the simplicity and depth of the poor always makes me ponder my privileged life.  As I sat and thought of what I hoped in 2016 I was really inspired to dig deep and find areas that I want to convert and grow.  Areas that will help me become a better me and as a result will impact my relationships with my God given lot.

Let go and let God- These past couple of months I learned a great lesson- to let go and trust God.  I have a bit of a control problem.  I feel safe when I am in control and these past couple of months God has been teaching me to transfer my control to Him.  It’s been a scary and uncomfortable process, but am hoping that what has begun in me will continue to grow this New Year.  In the Divine Mercy image, God told Saint Faustina to write underneath the painting, “Jesus, I trust in You.”  That’s my theme for this New Year to transfer my reign and continuously pray, “Jesus, I trust in You.”

Study the life of the Saints- Once a month I am going to adopt a new saint and study his/her life.  Am hoping to find saints that will encourage me to work in areas that I struggle.  To have holy people who inspire and motivate me to press on and continue peeling layers off of my heavenly Father.  I would like to study women in the Bible too- I have many books that I am hoping I will be able to study this year in an effort to continue growing in wisdom and faith.  For conversion is an ongoing process for all of us this side of heaven.   

Found this NY flute with Jan engraved at Goodwill for $1!

Read the Catechism of the Catholic Church- Can you believe that I have never read it in full!  This year I would like to begin to study the "tradition" of my faith more deeply.

Attend Mass- We should all be going to Mass on Sundays and days of obligation- this year I want to add another week day to my attendance.  I love attending Eucharistic services, yet I get lazy during the week.  Instead of doing so many talks and activities this new year I will opt to go to Mass (smile).

Prayer- I have been working on building a prayer area in my room so that I can be more inspired to spend daily time with God.  In addition, I want to continue attending Eucharistic Adoration on Mondays at my parish.  I go through periods where I am really inspired to pray and then times when it becomes really difficult to do so- this year I want to remain constant regardless of my emotions.

Happy New Years from In My Shoes!

Works of Mercy- I can be really self-centered and forget about others so this year I want to work on helping my neighbor and those in need.  This is the Extraordinary Jubilee Year of Mercy, Pope Francis calls all Catholics to perform works mercy and be imitators of Christ.  This is a time to “find joy in rediscovering and rendering fruitful God’s mercy, which we are all called to give comfort to every man and every woman in our time.” 

These are my six for this New Year.  Even if I don’t accomplish all of them I am hopeful that growth will occur.  May you be inspired, my reader, to continue growing in Christ.  Have a blessed and happy New Year! Thanks for reading.   

The Nativity: All Eyes on Jesus

Selfie with baby Jesus (smile).

God has a funny sense of humor… As you know, I am very drawn to Franciscan spirituality, so recently when I found out that in 1223, Saint Francis (with permission from the Pope) created the first live nativity scene to explain the birth of Jesus to the people - I couldn’t help, but smile.  For years now I have been collecting nativities, I have enough now to place one in every room in my house.  I am a really visual person and I just love the joyful, hopeful image depicted in the manger scene.  When I am sad, I love to think of myself as a little lamb resting my head on the trough, my snout touching my savior’s babe skin.  I feel so close to Him and so protected when I contemplate this image in my mind and there like all the animals in the stable I get fed from this trough of life-everlasting.  I love being the little lamb in the scene because it comforts me to know that God is my shepherd and I shall not want, that though I walk through dark valleys I will fear no evil because He is with me.  When predators come to devour, He will leave the flock to come rescue me.  And when He speaks I will recognize His guiding voice.  I think pretending to be a little lamb is my favorite role within the nativity- it gives me profound peace to be little and allow God to be magnificent and great.  Recently as I was meditating on an image of the birth of Christ, I began to notice how in that one moment all eyes are on Christ.  For the first time in history all eyes are upon God.  We have the poor, outsiders -the outcasts or shepherds come to worship.  We have the rich, educated wise men who come to pay homage.  We have the angels, the Star of Bethlehem and the animals or heaven and earth worshipping the Christ Child.  In that sacred image Saint Francis is showing us that Jesus is for everyone.  Furthermore, Jesus in the trough and the donkeys’ present- tell us that even jackasses know how to find their food! Wow! Powerful messages indeed.

Drive Thru Nativity in HB: The Christmas Story told in 9 scenes with live actors and animals!

In Mexico, I remember all the homes in my neighborhood would display very elaborate nativity scenes.  I don’t think we even knew of Santa Claus when I lived there.  Now as I pass the decorated homes in my neighborhood, in Southern California, I don’t see nativities on display anymore.  When I was trying to buy a lighted nativity set for my lawn – I had to order it online because stores have stopped carrying them.  Yet, there’s a place that I love to visit around this time of year that like me has a surplus of nativities.  In Costa Mesa, the TBN Broadcasting Center is a beautiful place that loves displaying all sorts of nativities.  The following are some pictures I snapped.  May you be encouraged to keep the tradition of placing a nativity in your home and may you make the time to contemplate the moment of atonement where all eyes are on Jesus.  There’s even a perfect movie  for this time, “The Nativity Story,” on Saturday, I watched it with my sister and mom as we listened to the rain fall…     

Nativity in Ornaments.

Nativity under the Christmas tree.

Nativity in my jewelry.

Larger than life nativity.

All the characters in the scene.

Movie and study guides- I loved doing a film study this December!

Nativity at my parish: Saint Barbara in Santa Ana.

Advent: Walking with Mary

This Advent without planning I began a character study into our blessed Mother Mary- since my initial conversion I have been so in love with Jesus that I sort of have dismissed Mary.  Though multiple people have tried to explain to me her very important role in our salvation story I still am slowly developing a deeper devotion to her.  I grew up in a patriarchal society where I often heard the false teaching that women were inferior and I think I unconsciously have placed Mary in that erroneous category of lesser worth.  Why go to Mary when I can run to Jesus has been my dominating mentality.  Yet, this December as I began to explore Mary’s role as Jesus’ mother I began to capture and relate to her more deeply and to understand why we venerate her.  Having also grown-up in a matriarchal home where my mom ran the household and took the responsibility of raising, educating and forming honorable children- I see that Mary is truly special because she not only gave birth to Jesus she raised the Son of God!  From the moment the Angel Gabriel gives her the message that she is to be the Saviors mother she doesn’t hesitate.  Though she understands the difficulty of God’s mission for her, she surrenders to God’s will entirely.  Surrendering our will to God is an ongoing process for all of us, but for Mary she trusts God completely and immediately.  Not only does she quickly submit, but she sings a song of joy magnifying God and acknowledging her smallness.  And that’s where her greatness lies- she’s great and worthy of veneration because God CHOSE her!  If God chose Mary than who are we to reject and diminish our blessed Mother as “just the human” who carried Jesus.  To diminish her is as terrible as to place her above God.  This weekend we celebrated the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe, the church was packed and Father reminded us to love Mary, but never forget that our blessed Mother ALWAYS leads us to Jesus.  Father pointed out how in Hispanic communities the Guadalupana Festivity usually brings large numbers, but Christmas services usually have low assistance.  It’s important that as we grow in our Catholic faith we begin to order our spirituality according to the truths of our faith- to love God how He wants to be loved.  He wants us to love Mary, to seek her intercession and to have her as a role model of faith (for she is His favored one), but to always remember that He’s the King of Kings the only one worthy of honor.

This is the first year that I participated (as an adult) in the Guadalupe festivities and it was such a transforming experience.  I love my culture our colorful, cheerful beauty.  Our over the top aesthetics and high values of family and community unity. I love our Mariachi music and our Aztec dancers.  I love the rainbow of ribbons in our hair, the embroidered flowers on our clothes our indigenous-mestizo roots.  I love our religiosity…  And I love how our Catholic faith makes room for all that Mexican awesomeness!  This year, as I sat in a triduum dedicated to the tilma of Our Lady of Guadalupe I took a really close look at the image of our Virgencita and I realized how blessed I am to have an image of mi Madrecita that looks so much like me.  Morenita in skin color, lover of loud colorful clothes, jewelry wearing and radiating in glitter from the stars (have I mentioned how much I love all things glitter)!  She even has our party personality – loves partaking in peregrinations around our neighborhoods… She’s so much like me and yet she makes me want to be more like her.  To love her is to love her Son and to get to know her is another path towards God.  We Mexicanos have been so blessed because the Mother of our God came to visit us tangibly in el Cerro de Tepeyac.  She came looking like us with a message of love- God loves the marginalized, the weak, the poor, the brown- He loves ALL equally, we are each individually special to Him simply because He chooses us over and over again. Wow!  Though others will reject us- God loves us to infinity and beyond and our Mother Mary is there to carry us in her arms towards Jesus for healing.  We are completely loved by God- may this Advent be a time to feel God’s love through Mary who gave us the greatest gift of all- God the Son. Amen.  

Beautiful braids.

Beautiful service.

Celebrating our roots.

Kids in traditional costumes.

Que Viva la Patroness of the Americas and of our Diocese.

Advent: Do Less Better

I was reading a book by Saint Francis de Sales in which he makes a powerful argument against busyness.  He states that business is not a measure that indicates higher sanctification, in fact he goes on to propose that the saints took the time to relax and to contemplate God every day in moments of inactivity.  They mastered the ability to calm their minds, hearts and souls to be with God and hear His voice.  Surprisingly, when I think of the saints I usually think about all the things they did, their accomplishments and rarely do I think of their spirituality.  During a talk, I once heard that a trait that leads men to sin is boredom, but for women it’s busyness- that sounds about right.  I am a doer, I have this need to be doing and sometimes I commit to too many things and I find myself stressed and it affects the quality of my work.  De Sales speaks about doing less, but doing it well and I really have made that my theme this Advent.  Usually during Advent I pack my schedule with tons of activities and before I know it Christmas has arrived and I feel so stressed out and so unprepared for the birth of Jesus because I have been too busy doing the wrong things in preparing my heart.  Previously I would watch tons of Christmas shows trying to get in the spirit of the holidays (because I love theatre) and I thought what better way to warm my heart than with a bunch of happy, live music and good morality plays.  That was my big Advent change – theatre, lights, parties, being with friends and family.  Though, I also led an Advent women’s prayer group all the activity made it impossible for me to daily reflect on the nativity and the real reason for the season.  Thus, this year I decided to do less, but do it well.

Advent Penance Service: On my birthday, my parish hosted a reconciliation service which I took advantage of - what better gift than God’ absolution for my sins.  We had ten priests come and help out.  I always like these services because I feel the excitement of the priests in seeing so many of their flock come seeking God’s forgiveness.  I did my examination of conscience at home.  I always like to write a list of my transgressions on a piece of paper, because I tend to get nervous every time I confess.  It also helps me not forget to confess any of my sins (smile).  After confession it gives me such satisfaction crumbling the piece of paper and throwing it away in the garbage.  

Advent Women’s Bible Study Group: This year my friend opened her house and she and I are leading the group.  There’s six of us, three from previous years and three new comers.  I love my Tuesday night – because I know that I am going to get to know God more while building sisterhood with my friends.  We are a very talkative bunch (this year) which has made the discussions really great.  It’s great to see my girlfriends growing in Christ and also to see their courage in opening up and revealing their hurts and deepest thoughts.  What a blessing to be part of this group!

Advent Calendar: Last year in after Christmas sales I purchased a Peanuts Advent Calendar and this year I decided I would give it a try with my nephew.  I truly didn’t expect it to be such a success, but my little guy is so excited (possibly because he gets a Hershey's kiss every day).  I found a great book of the nativity at a used book store it’s very detailed which leads to great discussions.  We take turns reading a chapter a night, then open our new Advent door on the calendar and share a chocolate kiss.  The great thing is that my nephew comes to me asking for us to do our calendar.  He also got a bottle of holy water in his catechism class and after we do our study each night we go around the house looking for one more thing he can bless with the holy water.  We have such fun!

I have cut back on the shows and activities to make more time to just relax and enjoy the season and this is the first year that I feel calm and not in a hurry to squeeze more things into my schedule.  Sometimes when we think of the special seasons of our faith we think we must add more things to be holier- this year I learned that I needed to cut back.  I guess God is slowly healing me of my Martha syndrome (smile).

Have You Prayed Today?

It was my birthday on Monday, and I took the day off from work to do simple things that I love to do, but sometimes lack the time.  I began my morning by taking my dog to the dog park, where I watched him happily socialise with other pups.  Then he and I took an hour walk around the park enjoying the trees, the breeze, the sky… God.  I talked to God all along the journey, sometimes tears spilled from my eyes cleansing my soul.  Then I dropped off my dog at home and picked up my prayer bag and headed to adoration.  I love the inside of churches, I get the same pleasure as if I were sitting in the middle of the forest in between large trees, fields of high grass and rays of sunshine.  I sat on the pew as I would on an overturned log and began to just enjoy God in the Blessed Sacrament.  Usually as the skeptic that I am I begin with, “Are you really here my God?” Then I wait and contemplate His Body so tangible and lovely.  On Monday I had time to spare, so I took out my prayer book from my bag and began to pray a type of prayer one prays in front of the Blessed Sacrament that takes the form of a conversation.  God begins the chat, telling me how much He has waited to spend this moment with me and He guides our talk.  There’s portions where I read His words and where I answer His questions silently.  There in the parish forest we danced in words and build relationship.  He asks me about my family, friends, work, church community, about my worries, hurts, and desires. He comforts me when I cry and tell Him that parts of me are made of glass and that now I understand the song, “it’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to.”  Then He tells me to trust Him with my worries, with my fears to want His will more than anything.  I tell Him that I can’t that I hurt, then He asks me to list my blessings and I take out my journal and begin to write down all of the things that He has given me those people and things that give me so much joy and so much peace.  I write about my dad, and how this birthday morning I woke up to receive the first birthday card I have ever gotten from him.  I tell God, how my dad is illiterate (even though He knows) and how dad dictated the short message to mom who wrote it down for me and how when I read it I sobbed.  I still remember the sentenced that broke me, “I don’t think you will ever know how much I love you (my dad rarely says it) and how I desire you to be happy.”  And how that sentenced reminded me of God’s “agape” love.  My dad’s words gave me courage, I tell God.  I continue writing all of my blessings and the longer the list gets the heavy cloud begins to lift and the rays of sun penetrate through and reach my soul.  I finish the list, put my journal away and I feel a strong desire to open my prayer book and pray one more prayer- I randomly open the book and it falls to a prayer that I completely needed. A very specific prayer.  It’s only two sentences long and in those two sentences I know that God has heard my very personal prayers, comforted by His words (which like Mary I will privately hold in my heart) I leave my log, and head out into the clear sky smiling.

God is real and He wants us to have a relationship with Him.  He wants us to come to Him and to speak with Him constantly because that’s how our bond matures, that’s how trust is established and how love grows.  We cannot love that which we do not know, that’s why prayer is essential in our lives.  Slowly as I get to know God more my faith in Him grows.  I am more open with Him, I feel safe and at peace.  This security builds a strong foundation and no matter how my faith gets tested I remain firm in Him.  One of my favorite verses in the Bible is, “remain in Me and I will remain in you.”  Our prayer life needs to be living- because just like in our earthly relationships dialogue helps us build trust and security, it allows us to get to know each other better, and keep peace while growing in love… So does it inspire and strengthen our bond with a God that is always making the first move, a God who constantly reaches out, a God who waits for us patiently and whose mercy is bigger than His justice.  When we have a strong connection with God through prayer we begin to imitate Him more easily and dying to self becomes a joyful, liberating process.