As children we
depend on grown-ups to make all the important decisions, we rely on their
wisdom to make choices that will permanently affect our beings for better or
worse. We have no control in our
dependent youth, but as we mature into adulthood we hold the key to live our
lives as we always imagined. When I went
on my first spiritual retreat I was angry with so many adults that had hurt me
as a child and I felt like I was a product of that pain. All the bitterness, violence and negativity
that I had witnessed were the reason I was such a difficult person to please. My motto was: this is who I am, if you don’t like it close
the door on your way out.
I was easily offended, demanding, resentful and unforgiving…
I want to be the best friend...
I casted blame on
others for my circumstances because it was easier and even comfortable to
assign culpability to everyone else. Accusing
others defined me and all the negativity I produced could be traced to something or someone in my past- never me. I am like this because this happened or he made me
this way… One day (in therapy) my counselor challenged that damaging life
philosophy, “you are an adult now Penny, you have the control to choose the
life you want to live and the power to create the woman that you aspire…”
The best auntie...
When I taught
preschool some parents were notorious for telling their kids (in an attempt to
discipline them), “don’t do that little Johnny because your teacher is going to
get mad.” Instead of dealing with the
problem they transferred their power to me with that phrase. I, the teacher, was the one who gained the respect of their children because sadly I dealt with the problem not the parent. In a similar way that’s what we do when we
blame others for who we are - we transfer our potential to someone else. We rob
ourselves the opportunity to heal and to mature.
The best mami & godmother...
I read an article
yesterday about the top five regrets dying people shared to a palliative nurse,
number one was: I wish I
had the courage to live a life true to myself. And
number three was: I wish I had the courage to express my feelings. Don’t wait until you are at your death bed to live
honestly, to look at yourself in the mirror and understand that you are much
more than a product of a painful past. Take control and own up to your weaknesses
because only when you discover these can you work to convert them into
strengths. In matters of two, I will
never be able to change or control the actions of the other, but I have total
power to create a life worthy of me, worthy of all those deep dreams engraved
in my heart.
The best daughter...
Who do you want
to be? What type of life do you want to
have? Who do you want to share your life
with? What type of daughter, sister, friend, girlfriend, wife, mother, child of
God do you want to be? What type of
family do you want to create with your spouse?
It’s your choice, your life. Find the courage - it’s in you (God placed it there)! SMILE
The best Catholic...
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