January Catholic of the Month

Surname: Butterfly

Parish: Saint Barbara

Student at CSUF

Before I leave on my vacation I would like to present January's Catholic of the Month the beautiful Miss Butterfly.  Friendships couldn’t be more important than in the Christian faith- my friends inspire, motivate and guide me in my walk with the Lord and Butterfly not only encourages me, but her commitment to God is so deep that she really challenges me to be a better Catholic.  Occasionally we take walks around Mile Square Park and during those four mile chats we never run out of things to share.  While speaking about confession the other day she told me that she goes to confession at least once a month if not more- I do quarterly if not less so this revelation really inspired me to go more often.  She’s become my Catholic therapist for when I am in a jam I usually go over it with her and she gives me great godly advice.  The following is a short interview that illuminates the amazing Catholic lifestyle she leads and her dedication towards assisting others all in the name of Jesus Christ.

World Youth Day 2013 Brazil 

How many years have you been practicing your Catholic faith? I have been active for about 7.5 years.

What services do you most regularly attend? Currently it’s been Mass and adoration (though not as much adoration as I would like) but I am trying to get back on it.

What does your faith mean to you? To me, my faith means hope, strength and support. 

With her family.

List current activities/involvement at your parish: Lector & Eucharistic Minister for the Spanish Mass, secretary in my Vanclar youth group.

List previous church leadership roles: RCIA coordinator for the English speaking community at St. Anne’s.

World Youth Day 2011 Madrid

One fun fact: I went to World Youth Day in Madrid in 2011 & in Brazil in 2013 & took a Missionary trip in 2009.

With her first RCIA generation students.

  

I met Butterfly at a Jovenes para Cristo retreat back in 2007 and the following year we served together at my first Retreat of Initiation in the prayer ministry and I remember being super attracted to her reverence towards the Eucharist.  For three days we were shut in a room praying continuously for twelve hours or more in front of the monstrance and I remember looking at her for guidance throughout the weekend.  She radiated with love for God and I remembering thinking I want to be like her.  I never thought that God would give her to me as my close friend, but He did (smile).  Since then we have become best friends and though I still admire her greatly I now see her in her true light as a normal girl passionately living a life true to God and to herself. I love you Butterfly!

Missionary Trip.

“A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter; whoever finds one finds a treasure. Faithful friends are beyond price, no amount can balance their worth. Faithful friends are a life-saving medicine; those who fear God will find them. Those who fear the Lord enjoy stable friendship, for as they are, so will their neighbors be.”

Random Cruise Preparedness

Things will be rather quiet here for the next week since I am going on the Ave Maria Catholic Single’s Cruise (whoopie)!  Last year, the day before the trip I found myself filling my suitcase with whatever I could find that was clean and summertime and I forgot so many essentials that during the cruise I had to buy a lot of things including a very expensive hairbrush; but, I learned my lesson!  This time around as a seasoned traveler, I established a pre-cruise routine which included planning, packing, a beauty treatment and prayer (smile).  First, I decided that since the rooms on the ship are so reduced I needed to make a visual chart of the outfits I had in my suitcase that way I could easily grab an outfit for whatever type of activity I plan to undertake.  I proceeded in selecting outfits in four categories: formal, day, night and excursions.  Then I printed pictures of the outfits and added self-adhesive on the back of each so that I can move them around my calendar.  Am so excited about having a visual aid because my mind operates in a pictorial manner.  I then continued to pack a week in advance putting all the clothes, shoes and accessories in my suitcase and leaving items that I still will use during the week to pack the night before.

Trying to be organized...

Step two, included getting a much needed haircut, getting my second gel manicure (so it lasts all week) and a pedicure.  I went with a nautical theme since I will be going on a cruise (wink).

Love being a girl...

Books I plan to read and my journal to do a little bit of writing.

Finally, the most important - prayer! I finished my last Novena for my future husband this week. My coworker motivated me to pray the Novena to Saint Anthony the patron saint of lost things.  Also, when I go on retreats or vacations (where I know I will have time to pray for others) I usually collect in advance a list of intentions that other people trust me with to intercede for on their behalf.  Two more days until I sail, can't wait (smile)!  

The Catholic Life

 When looking at Christianity from the outside, I always focused on all the things that I would have to give up…  I felt like that wealthy fellow who asked Jesus what else he could do to follow Him and Jesus said, “Sell all your possessions and give everything you have to the poor…”  That fellow had a serious internal battle because it seemed like Jesus was asking for too much of him.  The first couple of years (when I just warmed the bench at Mass) my thoughts matched that rich fellow who walks away from Jesus sad and dejected because he knows that he’s not ready for such a big change.  I was so focused on the things that I would have to give up to realize all the blessings that I would gain from trusting God.  I had this naïve view about Catholics, I thought the women wore longs skirts, hated sex and partying and were boring imitations of one another.  In my case, at the time, I was just focused on the lifestyle changes that needed to occur if I was going to leave my bench and follow Christ.  Years later I must admit that the changes that occurred in my lifestyle were small compared to the goodness that I gained and that’s why I want to write about what a Christian life looks like.  I am not a saint nor close to it- I am a sinner who God loves so much that He smiles at my mistakes and progress; but, accepts me today as I am - blemishes and all. 

Am blessed we have Perpetual Adoration at my parish.

My Catholic life is anything but boring, and though I do live my life with a high moral standard I am still very much Penny.  I try to go to Mass every Sunday and have deleted profanity from my speech.  I listen to worship music, study the Bible, the Catechism of the Catholic Church and read books about my faith as well as attend seminars.  I try to go to Adoration once a month, pray daily and go to confession.  I am also involved in service activities, my church community and over all try to be a better human being.  I am chaste and try not to abuse alcohol or any other drugs…  Just to be clear I fall all the time, there are Sundays when I skip on Mass or I forget my drinking limit and get drunk.  I have my favorite sins, but luckily going to confession helps me clear the slate and try again at living a life in imitation of Christ. 

I try reading the complete Bible every year or at least the New Testament.

The above description of my life might sound very difficult, but the secret is why I do it. For example, when I love a man I want to do things that will make him happy and avoid things that hurt him.  I might write him poetic notes, or cook him a yummy dinner or help him out with something that he needs.  I talk to him endlessly or just enjoy being in his company – if I hurt his feelings or mess up I am quick to reconciliate.  The people that he cares about become people that I care about by association…  The big thing with love and keeping it alive is that it requires actions by the people involved.  In the same way, when we choose to change our lifestyle one small bit at a time it’s a reaction to our love for God “for love without works is dead.”  That’s why I decided that a lifestyle post needed to occur in this space as encouragement because if I am able to attempt to live a Christian life then I know you can too and it’s ok to fall and dust yourself off and try again (smile).                   

Adoration: spending time in the presence of my Lord.

  

Fashionably Transformed

It felt like a black &white day...

 I came back into the Catholic faith quite the skeptic, full arrogance and many questions.  The members of Jovenes Para Cristo will attest to my former argumentative self - for I didn’t just ask questions I felt superior in my limited understanding of religion.  One of the things that bother me SO much about the Catholic faith was that the community dressed up on Sundays.  I would argue, “If Jesus is so humble, why do I have to dress-up to Mass?  I mean my friends go in t-shirts and jeans to Calvary Chapel and I am sure God doesn’t care what they wear.  Why must I be asked to express my faith so outwardly when faith is an inwardly transformation! We should worry more about taming our inner turmoil and the chaos in each of us not something so superficial as clothes!  If I want to be a server I am being asked to dress a certain way, then I just won’t serve until some changes occur!”  And boy, changes occurred but not in the way that I was thinking…

Modest outfit for Mass.

Let’s take a wedding for example, usually people don’t just get up on the day of the celebration and put on whatever is not dirty from their closets.  For instance, selecting a bridesmaid dress requires a very thoughtful process.  First, my friends and I will be going to David’s Bridal and trying on dresses in the color and style that the bride has in mind for us.  Once we decide on the style we will get fitted and order the dress to fit us perfectly if any alterations are needed a seamstress will take note and do the alterations in advance.  Then we will decide on the shoes whether they will be dyed to match the color of the dress or whether the bride wants a classic metallic, strappy sandal.  Then the jewelry, my best friend when she got married bought all of her bridesmaids matching earrings and necklaces.  Finally the hair, does the bride want us to have a certain hairstyle or are we free to fix our hair according to our likeness also will we need to wear a specific hair accessory.  The night before the wedding we each make sure that the dress, shoes and accessories are ready - in addition to any hair and make-up appointments.  Celebrations require a lot of planning... 

.... with Gold Accessories...

The Catholic Mass is a celebration to all believers.  Thus, like we would have an outfit chosen the night before for any special occasion we must also put effort and thought into what we wear to Mass on Sunday mornings: Adore the Lord in holy attire (Psalm 96:9).  It’s a sign of respect and honor because we are visiting God’s house and we will be celebrating the Eucharist.  When I was in Italy, a few months ago, and the Mass was about to begin at Saint Peters’ Square trumpets played the King’s entrance tune and for the first time I felt like the King of Kings was literally entering the celebration!  I’ve known that Jesus is truly present all these years in Mass, but that morning I truly grasped and made the connection that He’s King and that we are coming into the presence of royalty every time we celebrate Mass.  I had goose bumps and I remember whispering, “Today, I finally see you in your place my Lord, my King.”

My talented seven year old nephew took the pics.

That’s how this Modesty Sunday blog post idea came about.  My mind has been transformed for the better and I decided to document what I wear to Mass every Sunday.  I think it will be a fun to combine my love of fashion and also to show that at a plus size one can still look lovely.  It will be a post of self-acceptance through the Mass in a girlie manner (smile).  I am looking forward to talking more about modesty, clothes and embracing my femininity to honor my Lord. Hope you will join me on this ride. Kisses!  

Fashionably cute for Jesus!

Enjoy the Silence

I took a few days off from all my activities to reposition, re-energize and re-organize myself.  Sometimes in the rush of everyday life I get so lost in doing things that I forget why I am investing my time and life in those pursuits.  After the holidays I decided that I needed to do less and the things that I have discerned to continue working on - I have to do them terribly well.  Writing in this space is still something that I want to continue doing, but am thinking of adding some order because so far I just write about anything that pleases my fancy and the reason I started this blog was to evangelize, but not by writing theological pieces, but rather personal narratives of my own journey with God.  I don’t like to preach my faith to my loved ones- in fact I think that it is not one of my strengths.  Prior to my returning to my faith I HATED people who wanted to argue their way into forcing me to believe in God, so much so that the more people tried the harder I resisted.  Thus, that is not my approach. I like Saint Francis’ method: “preach the Gospel always, and if necessary, use words.”

Resting in Silence...

After much thought and prayer I have decided to break my writings into the following topics which will include an array of my personal Catholic life.  I decided to categorize my weekly thoughts into a Modesty Sunday, a Life Style, and a Random Day post.  In addition, I will add a Catholic of the month post recognizing a person in my life that motivates and challenges my faith.  Thus, in the coming days you will see some changes happening here.  I will further define what each of the topics will include and why I decided that I needed to make those changes.  I still will try to write three times a week, though am considering going back to school – but we will cross that bridge when we get there.  These past months writing in this space have been such a blessing- I feel stronger in my faith and more willing to share it; therefore, it was easy to realize that I needed to proceed with this activity.  It’s nice to relax sometimes and allow the Holy Spirit to guide you because He leads one on wonderful new adventures.

It has been six or so months of trying to join my two lives together (my Christian life and my non-Christian) and writing about it here has helped unite my life into just my Catholic life.  Before I used to keep my Christian and Non-Christian friends separated fearing a quarrel between the two, but since “the integration” things have been peaceful (smile). An aside: I’ll share about the integration later…  God bless you, my friends.  

Minimize Worry

In ten days I leave for my cruise, this year I’ll be traveling to the Bahamas, Puerto Rico and Saint Maarten.  Am super excited for the vacation, but I have been worried about the trip.  Last year I had the most amazing time because I went without expectations- I was just excited to travel and even more excited about the excursions.  I never really looked at the cruise as a match-making opportunity, thus the aquatic holiday was a super time with people who share my love for God.  This year some of the friends I met last year will be returning to travel along with me and though they are all “girls” am super excited about seeing them again.  What worries me is that I made the decision that after returning from the trip I would try online dating, and now with the cruise two weeks away the time is coming to leave my comfort zone into a world that I have never traveled before.  I keep thinking if I meet someone on the cruise, life will be so much easier (smile)…  Now remember I haven’t dated in years and so am really rusty and not looking forward to the process of putting my heart out on the line and getting it stomped.  The whole internet dating process seems so odd and super difficult to me, I am still one of those traditionalist who believes in finding love the old fashion way…

My best friend (the non-practicing Buddhist) went on a couple of different dating websites herself and I mention her stand on religion because it’s important to the story.  She went on a few dates from hell with different men and that makes me question the credibility of the success of the sites.  On one date the guy “forgot” his wallet; on another date the guy didn’t get paid until Friday and they went out on Monday so he asked her if she could pay and he would pay her back; the last one had money to pay and she went on a second date with him and during the evening his wife called asking my friend to leave her baby daddy alone.  True stories!  But then I think, maybe it was because the sites she went on were not Christian sites.  I live vicariously through my friends sometimes and these experiences have really shaped my mind against online dating.

Inspired by Peanuts...

My brother in heaven used to promote giving myself deadlines on relationships so that I wouldn’t be wasting my or my partner’s time.  He also taught me to live my life with as few regrets as possible.  Thus, I told myself and talked it over with God that I would go on the cruise and then after I return sans a significant other then I will go into un-explored territory.  As the time approaches, the anxiety is rising, so I have decided to live one day at a time and to trust God will guide me.  My friend gave me this great Peanuts Thirty Day Devotional and Snoopy really knows the secret to living a life without worry and though he’s just an animated creation I think I will reduce my worries to a minimum.

The Book has a comic on one page...

And a brief Christian devotional on the following page.

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

Love is in the Air

Store # 1 Davids' Bridal

On Saturday, I helped my Catholic friend find her wedding gown…  Three stores later and a full day gone, we narrowed the search to three dresses, now it’s up to her to select the one of her choice.  From a biblical and biological perspective men and women are different by design, this couldn’t be more apparent in gown shopping.  My friend had a posse of three: her two bridesmaids and her mom.  We oohed and awed every time she stepped out in a different gown - I am sure that men do not do that when getting fitted for a tux. 

Mami & daugther looking for perfect dress...

Angelo's Bridal Store #2

I love wearing make-up and getting dressed up- in fact my friends would all described me as extremely feminine – yet when it comes to men I like manly men.  Kahlil Gibran has this great simile on how a marriage should be like two columns supporting one structure, meaning that though one body the relationship should always allow for the couple to be their own person and to grow independently too.  I can be feminine and my husband can be masculine and together we will complement each other like a puzzle requires two different pieces to become one.  The creation story illustrates the beauty of man and woman; Adam was formed first and given the duty to name the plants and the animals and while looking at all of creation he felt incomplete.  God too felt like He needed to give someone to Adam to be whole and thus woman was created.  While Adam came from the soil of the ground Eve was formed from Adam's own body (wow)!  God seriously is an amazing, sentimental architect (smile).

Las tres Amigas

Helping choose the perfect gown...

As I get older I treasure my femininity because while my university education taught me that women should get tougher and become more like men to gain equality, I now see that God had it right since the beginning.  We were created equally different but same in value.  And being a wife and a mother is just as valuable as being a career woman - if not more.  I am happy to live in an era where women have rights, but I am learning to value the traditional gender roles as established by God. 

Store #3 Bonny's Bridal...

So many choices...

       

Self Love

The Good Old Days...

It’s January and the big discussion this month is the most common New Year’s resolution, losing weight.   Growing up I was the girl with the healthy body size wearing a size six or seven for most of grown-up life- but after my mental breakdown due to the medication I started gaining weight- in a year I put on about seventy-five plus pounds.  One of the side effects of the meds was major hunger cravings – after trying dozens of med combos I finally found one where the most drastic side effect was weight gain and at the time I didn’t care about the excess weight I just wanted my mind to function normally.  My motto was fat, but sane.  After a couple years of working on my sanity I finally  realized that I had gained a lot of weight and I was so utterly unhappy with myself. So much so, that I stopped dressing up- I felt like I looked like a giant decorated piñata when I did dress up.  I also didn’t want to see people who hadn’t seen me in a while because I was afraid of their possible negative comments.  When I did go to parties I no longer had that confidence to be friendly with everyone like I usually am, I just wanted to find a corner where I could hide for the night.  Taking pictures was painful because I didn’t like what I saw.

Previous Weight

Now Rocking with Elvis & at the Grand Canyon

This past year has been a year of acceptance.  After going on the singles cruise back in January I noticed that even at my current size men were attracted to me and you know that really helped with the self-acceptance a bit.  One of my cruise friends from Mexico wouldn’t call me by my name, but rather mi niña bonita (my pretty girl) and while getting spiritual direction from Father he too out of the blue said to me something to the effect that I am a beautiful lady and to use my beauty for Christ.  I guess now you know why I am going again, I found a lot of goodness on that cruise (smile).  These days when I look at pictures of myself I am not as critical and I feel good– even pretty when I do dress up.

During the 2013 Cruise

I never thought that I would accept myself at this size, but God really does marvelous things when we are open to Him.  Now I understand how tough it is to wear heels at a heavier weight and how difficult it is to find boots that will fit your legs (wink).  I admire curvy women especially those who dress with pride in their figure - I even borrow tips from their fashionable sense.  Though, this year I am working on getting fit and healthy because though I accept myself at this weight I know that I am happier when I am slimmer, but it’s nice to know that I am beautifully made no matter the size I am.   

Weddings

Soon to be Mrs...

2014 begins with weddings; three of my close friends are getting married in April, May and June…  Of the three I am a bridesmaid for two (smile) and of the three one is having a Christian service, one a non-denominational ceremony and one a Catholic wedding.  Maybe the fact that I have been involved in wedding planning since last year has brought to mind the topic of marriage.  As I keep exploring that journey God keeps bringing forth the scripture in Genesis referring to a man leaving his father and mother and uniting to his wife and they become one flesh.  It’s so romantic that since the beginning God defined marriage as a union so strong that it required the start of a whole new entity, the husband and wife as one.  Marriage requires one to leave our family of origin to begin our new family with our spouse.  God tells us to cleave onto our spouse that is to unite to him/her out of deep love and commitment and to actively work at staying close to each other.  To be one flesh is more than the physical union it’s constantly giving, receiving and responding.  It’s developing such a level of closeness that lasts an entire lifetime.  Marriage is serious business is not just an emotional bond that's why having God be part of it is so important.  

Exploring the Bridal World

Bride & her Maid of Honor

Bride's Party

 A few days ago I accompanied my best friend to a Bridal Expo at the Orange County Fairgrounds.  We roamed around for a few hours looking at venues, dresses, invitations, cakes, shoes, accessories, flowers, music, photographers, photo booths- the whole shebang. I didn't realize wedding planning could be so stressful, just walking through the expo I became overwhelmed and I am not even the bride!  After the whole experience I thought about the wedding celebration and how traditionally it was a way to mark the foundation of the new family to come.  The ceremony itself was a public demonstration of the commitment the two people were making with God and each other.  The importance being the divine covenant over the earthly one.  Sadly, nowadays the wedding can be stripped of it's beauty and just be a lush party.  And the details are not what is important, but rather the couple's covenant before God and men.

    

Bride being silly.

Beautiful things

Flowers and Cake Oh My!

"As Christians, it is important to focus on the true purpose of marriage when considering the wedding ceremony. Although the details are ultimately between the couple and God, scripture encourages believers to enter into marriage in a way that honors God's covenant relationship, submits to the laws of God first and then the laws of the land, and gives public demonstration of the holy commitment that is being made. This can be carried out in a simple, private ceremony with only a few witnesses, or a large traditional wedding."

Wedding Dress Fashion Show.

Brides posse being silly!

Wasted Days

Wasted days… Sometimes I love to take a day off and do nothing at all… To give my dog a full body massage if I feel like it.   Or paint my nails a funky shade.  Or curl up in my bed listening to soothing, classical tunes and eventually traveling into the depths of a mystical novel.  Lately those calm days are a thing of the past, business rules and everything seems like a dreaded chore – my body & mind are asking for a retreat…  Later in the month I will be going on a Caribbean cruise, but at the moment that feels so distant.  I have been trying to discern how God wants me to fill my days, what activities I need to do and which I need to let go.  It’s a trying battle finding balance…  I am such a complex being at times needing so much to be happy.   I think of the saints and how much they did during their lives and feel guilty over wanting time off to be just with me. A day of staycation…  That sounds great curling 0n my sofa with my doggie and a hot chocolate mmm…  My kingdom for a lazy day (smile).

Stop & smell the roses.

Sweet Nothings

I began my year reading… Books are so much fun, last year I read ninety-two books – I guess that makes me a nerd!  During Christmas my sis gave me a book on shoes! I love to learn and this year I want to learn about fashion with an emphasis on vintage.  I struggle with vanity and commercialism because I, like most women enjoy shopping.  While 90 percent of what I wear are second hand items I am probably one step away from hoarding (yikes)!  I have hundreds of books and shoes and while this year I also want to focus on cleansing myself of many material possessions- this post has to do more with my love of books.  Being an English major makes me quite a book snob- I lean more toward classics and well written contemporary works, but I also like adding a touch of plain fun here and there.  And of course the smart shopper in me never pays full price. 

Browsing Around...

For Christmas I got a few gift cards and one of them was to Barnes and Noble.  So, the other day I decided to spend time there browsing for books that I want to buy online at a better deal.  I found three that after going through them looked like they had a lot of substance and possibility (smile).  But I decided to buy one book at a time to avoid the clutter.

My Wish List...

My friend told me that when looking for a man I need to hang out in places that I enjoy so that the possibility of finding someone who I have something in common with is greater.  It’s wonderful advice, but when I am in a bookstore I get lost in books and forget to look around… I really have no game (boo).  Until recently I didn’t even think guys existed who liked books as much as me- I thought all guys loved sports and that I was sentenced to tolerate endless ESPN hours or even worse endless hours of video games.  I am a girl’s girl- and for the past six years I thought the consecrated single life was my vocation, thus I have no clue on how to find a man. --- I don’t know how books led to a conversation on my lack of game (SMILE).

Some Learning on a cold day.

Back to books, I love learning about everything.  If I had the money and time I would go to university for the rest of my life!  In fact, when I imagine heaven I think of it as a big school where I can go learn all sorts of things for infinity; like ballet dancing one day, philosophy the next day, playing the piano, cooking etc.  Gosh, this post is just a bunch of ramblings…           

Happy 2014!

Starting 2014 with family...

Hope you had a Happy New Year!  It’s customary for me to celebrate the New Year with my friends, Christmas with my biological family and New Years with my chosen family.  Though I had to work a full day – I still had plenty of energy to play Twister with my nephew and to begin my New Year going to bed at three in the morning!  After work, I stopped by home to have an early lunch with my parents and then headed to my favorite mommy's house for an intimate dinner and fun games with the kids!  My bestie got engaged over Christmas and we got the full scoop on the engagement and I was asked to be a bridesmaid for their wedding!  Am super excited!  After celebrating New Year’s east coast style there I headed to my final stop dancing in downtown Fullerton with my other bestie.  We ended up at Revolucion 1910 Cantina for a New Year’s Party where between Spanish and English music we welcomed the New Year.  We had balloons & confetti falling while zipping yummy champagne and while I didn’t have a New Year’s kiss am hoping this 2014 is the year that romantic love comes back into my life…

I heart my little man!

Dancing the year away...

I just began my Peanuts day by day calendar and am looking forward to the many blessings life has to offer this 2014, Happy New Year my faithful readers!  

Cheers!

Happiness is celebrating with friends.