Kiss Your Bad Day Away

Have you ever seen the sun hiding behind the clouds, you know the sun is there, but the clouds keep it out of sight.  Bad days are like dark clouds that cover the light of God.  Though, through faith I know God is with me and even more present during difficult times, sometimes the negativity is so great that all I see are hovering clouds.  Yesterday, was one of those mornings where I wished that I had remained in bed because everything seemed to go wrong.  Daily struggles with my boss and health related things brought me really down.  It was one of those days where the theme was nope you are not getting a break today.  After work, I got home exhausted, rolled into bed and craved for the day to be over.  Yet, worries and dark thoughts continued to dominate my mind and I seriously just wanted to give up on the day and begin again the next morning.  However, through family, friends and art God helped me get out of the morning funk.  I arrived home to the usual celebration thrown daily at my arrival by my cute dog, then my nephew invited me to watch “The Chipmunks” (one of my favorite cartoons), then my friends insisted I join them to see a free screening of “Little Boy.”  Though I seriously didn’t have the energy to be out, I am glad my friends insisted on me accompanying them- they listened to me vent, hugged me and their company really put ointment on my morning hurts. 

I had seen “Little Boy” when it was released in theatres earlier this year, but watching it again helped me realize how dumb I had been for letting small challenges get to me.  There’s people out there with serious problems, mine will be ok with a few phone calls and a little persistence.  While watching the film, I realized how self-centered I had been all morning (focused completely on myself and my problems) so much so that I momentarily lost my hope and sight of God! Once my focus shifted I began to see my bountiful blessings. We even got to meet the cute eleven-year-old actor who plays Little Boy! Before the movie started he introduced the film with a short motivating speech that really touched my heart.  By the end of the night here’s what I learned about bad days:

Friends & loved ones make a difference- Bad days are better when faced with people we love.  My family was very supportive yesterday as I explained issues I was having with new doctors and medical insurance challenges. My friends too listened to my bad day and they didn’t offer solutions they just listened and sometimes that’s enough.

The Day Can Change- even if your morning or a few hours of your day has gone bad with a change of mental focus things can get brighter.  Instead of sulking by myself for the remainder of the day I tried to focus my mind away from my problems.  After all worry is a passive act, quite negative to the soul and God warns us against it.  Thus, I trusted God with the things that are out of my control and saved the things that I can do for a new battle today with refreshed energy.

God will shine through the clouds- As I drove to work this morning I looked at the sky and saw that even though the clouds covered the roundness of the sun they did not manage to keep its rays from shinning around and even through the clouds.  God is with us always until the end of time- and no amount of negativity can separate us from Him, but we have to desire His light above all.  In times of trial we need to refocus our eyes on Him who is greater than any problem (smile).

With God there are no bad days – only challenging moments- because God loves you and when you are loved as He loves us- it’s difficult to lose one’s smile and confidence. When I have nothing positive to say I rather not write- so forgive me for not writing yesterday and remember that, you are amazing just the way you are and "when you smile the whole world stops and stares for a while, because you're amazing just the way you are..."

Morning serenade for you :)              

This Girl is Pro-Life

A few weeks ago the Center for Medical Progress released a series of videos documenting the illegal selling of aborted baby parts by Planned Parenthood and its affiliates.  Watching the videos and the political and public response reminded me of a time during college where I too was pro-choice.  A woman’s right to choose sounded fair and progressive – yet, I never really explored the topic.  I just went along with friends and college mates wanting to sound forward-thinking.  There was even a time when I considered working for Planned Parenthood as a way to help the dozens of pregnant teens I encountered in my teaching experience.  I thought access to proper birth control would prevent teens from early, unwanted pregnancies…  My conversion challenged me to deeply explore my position on abortion and many other social justice issues. Simply put, for people to be pro-choice one must believe that life begins at birth.  That means that when you or your friend gets pregnant congratulations are unnecessary and a baby shower completely inappropriate because the baby is not a baby until it enters the world. Nevertheless, I have been to plenty of baby showers where the pro-choice parents celebrate the pregnancy and even have named what they would refer to as a fetus were it not their baby!  This leads me to believe that many people decide on when human life begins based on whether it’s a wanted pregnancy or in a desire to seem modern and tolerant.     

Our Christian faith teaches us that life begins at conception; thus, we can’t be pro-choice while trying to live authentic Christian lives.  For us, human life has dignity and value whether the pregnancy was planned or unwanted.  The conditions on how the baby was created does not have any relevance on whether it’s a human life or if the baby deserves to live. Scientist argue as to when human life begins, but God tells us clearly that He knew us even before we were born while we were in the womb He appointed us to great things.  I look back at the girl I used to be the one that rejected traditional values and thought that pro-choice sounded so fair and I realize that I was lazy.  I didn’t explore the issue deeply.  I think many of us are like the old me who get caught up wanting to sound open-minded and we form our opinions and take our stance based on fear of sounding intolerant and backwards.  Yet, tolerance is not about supporting modern choices over traditional values- it’s not about holding the popular stance because people won’t question it.  Tolerance means that I have a right to hold my opinion even if others disagree.  Yet, sadly our church is perceived as intolerable because of our traditional values.

When I came back to the Catholic Church I was a really misinformed, lazy liberal afraid to sound like a bigot.  I questioned everything about my faith and the things I didn’t understand scared me because God was challenging me to change and grow.  Slowly, with the help of my brothers in Christ (and other resources) I began to educate myself on social justice issues and I realized that love is so much more than a feeling.  To love means to make hard choices and many times to go against popular belief- always standing for truth.  Love makes us want the better for the other in this case the best for our society.  So, if you are pro-choice begin asking yourself when does human life begin?  When is a baby a baby? Explore issues with depth and an open heart. 

Center for Medical Progress

Be Holy with Others

As young Catholics it’s good to get involved in parish life somehow.  There are usually many things happening.  Today, I want to share some of the things that I have been or am involved as encouragement for you to form community because to lead successful Catholic spirituality we need to live in community.  By success I mean, being around like minded people helps us feel that we are not alone in our faith and encourages us to live holy lives.

Eucharistic Ministries- Help out during Mass.  When I first returned to the Catholic Church I became a minister of hospitality because it was something simple that I could do even though I was so ignorant about my faith.  As my confidence grew, I became a lector.  My brother is a Eucharistic Minister.  If you are musical join the choir.  There are quite a few things that you can do to help out during the most important hour of our week so get involved; young people need to see more young people involved in worship- it’s encouraging.

Young Adult Groups- Since I returned to the church, I have been involved with Youth for Christ and the SVDP Young Adult group.  I always try to be part of group of young Catholics because I need strong Catholic friendships and events to keep me centered and rooted in my faith.  It’s great worshiping and praying together or just socializing with people that share your values.  What matters is finding Catholics that are trying to live their faith in some way.

Catholic Events- I  am still amazed by all the fun events that my local parishes and diocese put together. Growing up, I always associated Catholicism as something boring, limited and confining.  I felt like the church sucked the happiness out of people with all its rules and regulations- man was I wrong!  I wish I had known sooner how much fun Catholic life can be if we live it right. Just these past few days I attended two really cool events where we ate yummy food, drank some alcoholic beverages, learned about our faith and socialized.  When I first heard about the Theology on Tap movement I was struck dumb.  The church encourages young adults to come together at a bar, drink in moderation, and socialize? Believe it or not it does! Through social media I learn about all sorts of events- like at the end of the month I will be going to see “Saint Faustina” the play. I love theatre and now I can go see a Catholic play!

Travel Groups- If you like to travel, there are ways to travel with other Catholics.  I have gone to three Catholic singles cruises with Ave Maria Trips and I highly recommend it.  It’s like a retreat, but in the middle of the ocean- with daily Mass, Adoration and spiritual direction.  In addition to many fun activites, excursions, mingling with other single Catholics and a lot of dancing.  I have also done pilgrimages with my church choir to Christian sites.  Traveling renews my faith- it’s like going on honeymoon with God.    

Service Opportunities- Being Christian means giving back to our communities or sharing our talents.  There are endless service opportunities, just think of a cause that you are passionate about and get involved.  Currently I teach RCIA for adults at my parish to the Hispanic community.  Preparing adults to receive their Sacraments and initiate into the Catholic Church has given me such joy and purpose.

There’s many ways to get involved, what matters is finding a group of Catholics trying to live their faith authentically because we all need friends to motivate and support us in our walk with the Lord.  Attend events and join groups with an open heart and pray that God places you in community with other Catholics that will help you get to heaven.    

Challenges of Falling in Love

After work yesterday I treated myself to “San Andreas” the movie.  I have always been fascinated with earthquakes- though they mostly scare me.  I remember when we studied earthquakes and volcanoes in elementary I would get pulled out of class because I would get so scared learning about natural disasters.  I’d spend hours feeding my anxiety thinking that at any moment I could die if the earth decided to erupt or shake.  As I grew up other things gave me anxiety, but they were more personal struggles, stresses about university, work, death of loved ones, relationships, etc.  To this day I still worry about things that are out of my control, even though I have God and my faith I still waste time worrying about a lot of things.  Sometimes I give my worry to God and place my trust in Him, but when I see that He’s taking too long to resolve it- I take it back thinking I am better fixing it on my own (and of course that never works).  What I have found is that worry is usually a type of insecurity.  We feel uncertain about a problem and this causes us to worry.  This tends to happen a lot at the beginning of relationships between two people.

When you like someone there’s always the fear of rejection.  This worry often comes when you are trying to give a little more of yourself to your beloved.  I experience this all the time.  First, comes the worry that you are not enough: not good looking enough, not smart enough, not fun enough, not experienced enough, not accomplished enough… Then comes the fear that maybe the object of your affections is leading you on simply for his/her amusement and distrust begins to set-in.  After comes the uncertainty that during the process of discerning a friendship with the one your heart adores he/she will find someone else and you will be stuck loving them.  Putting up our defenses follows because suddenly the person we like has turned into our enemy or at least someone we must protect ourselves from.  All of this is usually a product of our critical self, the insecure part of us that is afraid of intimacy because it requires a ton of vulnerability.  C.S. Lewis stated it perfectly “to love is to be vulnerable.”

Falling in love challenges us in ways that we don’t expect.  The more we value someone the more we have to lose and the more we become afraid of getting hurt.  And our mind constantly terrorizes us that love is not worth the hurt.  At times the anxiety causes us to withhold our affections, retreat back into our comfort zone or reject the object of our affections before he/she rejects us.  Personally, relationships with the opposite sex intimidate me because I don’t have a lot of experience.  I get scared that I will be humiliated because of my inexperience, that my weaknesses will go out on blast or that others won’t accept my high moral standards (among other things).  Sometimes I get scared due to all mentioned above, but God gives me strength and hope.  I also think of the object of my affections and I place my trust that as a man of God he will act like a godly man and that too comforts me. To love also requires a lot of humility, to know and accept our smallness just like Jesus became small for us- for love hurts, but it also heals and transforms. So, don't give in to worry trust in God and slowly in me too. 

What I Learned Praying Novenas

A friend asked me to share some tips on how to make Catholic friendships, after she read my post she wrote back that she had never thought of asking God to bring a friend into her life.  I pray about everything, even when I am in crowded parking lot I ask God to help me find a space and after I’ve found the space I pray that He helps me park without hitting either car beside me (smile).  When my dog whimpers at night because he’s having a nightmare I get up and lay my hands over his cute head and pray the bad dream away.  Prayer in the Christian life is as important as breathing.  I have developed the habit of praying novenas with friends.  In Mexico, after someone dies we come together for nine days interceding for the soul of the departed by publically praying a novena.  Growing up I remember this cultural form of prayer; thus, I find it very comforting to pray with others for a mutual intention.  While some believe that novenas hold magical power and after the nine day prayer the special intention will be fulfilled – that’s not how prayer works.  To me novenas are about praying together and developing the habit of praying with those I care.  It’s about interceding for one another and getting the saints to help too.  Also, Jesus tells us to pray for one another and to devote ourselves to prayer.

My grandma passed away when I was about five years old and I remember vividly how after the funeral we’d gather together at my grandma’s house to pray a novena.  The house was full of family and friends and everyday a different friend would bring sweet bread and hot chocolate.  Each day after praying the novena we would end by having the goodies.  Though the pain of losing a loved one is immense I noticed that by the town coming together to pray it really helped my mom and her sisters realized that though they had lost their mother they were not alone.  There was this deep feeling of unity, community and love.  I always associated novenas with death and thought that they were only prayed for the souls of the departed.  Yet, when I learned that we can pray them for the living – novenas became a favorite devotion of mine. 

Three things I have learned from praying novenas:

• The Practice is Biblical- After Jesus’s Ascension into heaven Mother Mary, the apostles and other followers prayed together for nine consecutive days concluding on Pentecost.
• Families that pray together stay together- I have prayed numerous novenas with my two cruise angels and the process really has helped our relationship grow.  Though we are separated by great distance praying together has fortified our friendship.  It’s really cool knowing that others are praying for you and vice versa.
• Ask, seek and you shall receive- Present your needs to God and have faith that He will provide knowing that it might take Him more than nine days for His time is perfect (smile).   

So, don’t feel pressured that after nine days something big has to happen- usually God works in small ways and in His own time frame.  Just enjoy praying together in unity with the saints, hopeful that God hears us and cares deeply about our supplications (smile).

Making Catholic Friendships

Father recommended a new author (Richard Rohr, OFM) he said that it was one of his favorite authors and after reading the first chapters of my introductory book I think Rohr might become a favorite of mine too.  As I was meditating on writing about Catholic friendships I came across a quote that I felt would get this post started, “Ask the Lord for companions (sometimes Jesus alone!) who will walk the highway of remembering with you, filling valleys and leveling mountains and hills, making the winding ways straight and the rough ways smooth.  Then humankind shall see the salvation of God.”  We all need Catholic friendships to inspire, motivate and encourage us in our faith.  God created us to live in community- your weaknesses are usually someone else’s strengths and together we form one perfect body.  I can quote Romans chapter twelve verses 3 through 8; each of us has a body with many members that serve a different function but together we create one body.  In other words form community- make friends and help each other out by using your strengths and learning from others to work on your weaknesses.  Good Christian friendships make God happy and are a testimony of His love.  But how do you make these bonds?     

• Pray about it- I remember the first time I went on a Catholic Singles Cruise on my own.  That first day I went out into the balcony and I prayed that God would send me a friend to spend the cruise with and sure enough after adoration I met two of my now really good friends.  After the cruise we became friends on Facebook and began to get to know each other really well. Since, we have cruised more times together and we pray continuous novenas for one another. Thanks to social media we have been able to cultivate a really warm, close friendship.
  

•  Be friendly first-  I was talking to God one day about how I liked this man, but the man seemed too shy to talk to me so I was like God please make him come over and talk to me and I heard God’s voice in my inner most being say, “why don’t you go over and say hi first.”  Sometimes we want everything to be done for us, but God wants us to get out there and try too.  Though this example is about talking to a man, I think it applies to making friends too, don’t wait around for someone to approach you.  If you see a person you find interesting and think would make a good friend go up and say hi.
  

• Attend Young Adult Functions- I usually go to young adult events because I want to learn more about my faith.  If I find a topic that’s interesting to me I sign-up for the event.  I am lucky that I live in area where my diocese and surrounding parishes offer a lot of really cool functions.  Most of the time I invite a friend to come along with me and this really helps our friendship grow because usually the topics inspire great conversation.  When no one is available to go with me and if I find the topic really interesting I venture out on my own.
  

•  Do Service Opportunities- I used to coordinate events at a senior home for my young adult group.  For over a couple years once a month I would put together a two hour visit for over forty seniors.  This helped me meet a lot of young people from my parish who had an interest in God and in serving Him.  I also helped a grass-roots effort feed the homeless in Santa Ana.  Every other Saturday a group of us met in an area where a lot of homeless people gather and served them a meal.  
  

• Join a Group- When I returned to the Catholic Church I joined a young adult association (Youth for Christ).  Here I met some of my best Catholic friends.  The group met twice a week, we organized retreats, served our home parish and participated in many social and volunteer gigs together.  We were also involved in the prayer ministry within the group.  Working and praying together for God really fortified our friendships. There’s a lot of young adult groups like Youth for Chirst (Cursillo, the Search for Christ…) talk to someone in your parish about what groups are available in your diocese.   
  

• Join a small prayer group- During Advent and Lent I host a prayer group for about six people.  Once a week we dive into the upcoming Sunday readings and then share our thoughts.  This really helps build strong relationships quickly because we skip through the shallow talk and dive into really intimate conversations.  Though my church stopped offering these groups my little group continues to meet seasonally.  I also have a couple private prayer groups on Facebook that help keep us in contact when our schedules get too busy.  
  

• Maintain the Friendships- This is crucial!  If you get through making friends keeping them is your next challenge.  I try to see my friends often because I don’t like talking on the phone.  I told you my top love language is quality time so I try to spend time with everyone I love often.  Remember important dates, whether it be a birthday, a job interview or something important your friend shares and reach out to them.  Pray together and for them too. 

Am blessed with a lot of wonderful Catholic friendships.  I found my secret is more on me trying to be a good friend than looking for a good friend.  When you first become what you want people just flock to you.

Emotional Roller Coaster

I was reading a book last night on the power of emotions in our culture.  Often we hear excuses like: “You must be true to yourself;” “listen to your feelings;” “you have a right to.”  These statements are becoming prevailing themes in our culture so much so that people who criticize the truth of these romantic expressions appear insensitive and politically incorrect.  Yet, our Christian faith is not based on feeling, but truth.  Sometimes we don’t feel loving, but God tells us to love anyway.  Sometimes doubt enters our mind and robs our peace, but no matter how we feel the truth of God remains.  I remember when I returned to the Catholic Church I sought spiritual direction.  I was telling Father that I no longer felt like God was real, that I was numb and lacked the rosy emotions that I used to have every time I approached God in prayer and that I was really depressed in addition to full of doubt.  He looked at me and said, “Faith is not an emotion- whether you feel it or not the truth of God is.”  I had come from years of therapy where my therapist constantly suggested I listen to my feelings and this statement contradicted my way of dealing with things.  I loved the fact that faith didn’t depend on me and how I felt.

Emotions are beautiful they enhanced some of the most precious moments in our lives, but they are also not reliable.  This weekend I attended a funeral and a wedding and both events produced a great range of emotions.  In addition, some days my hormones are so crazy that they amplify my feelings.  I started overthinking things and everything seemed so impossible that giving up seemed like the only option.  I felt weak, vulnerable and unappreciated. I, then acted on these feelings because they felt so real by withdrawing and creating fictitious conflict in my mind.  This followed with a good dose of fear and slowly I began to shut down.  It’s as if I was under attack and I just wanted a safe haven to hide until the interior war ended.  I know that if you are an introvert you understand how sometimes we overthink and overanalyze things until we get so lost that even if the evidence contradicts our position we still listen to our erroneous emotions.  At moments like these I just need a hug and a little encouragement because no matter how strong I might appear I too need your supporting smile.

I am a woman and bipolar – which I often describe as God going a little overboard on emotional fairy dust when He created me.  Thus, I am a very emotional person- luckily my faith has helped me become less emotionally dependent, but I still have a long way to grow.  The thing that I really try hard to do is to not be emotionally manipulative.  On Sunday, during Mass, Father mentioned a quote attributed to Saint Francis of Assisi, “I desire little and the little I desire I desire little.”  A person can be happy when nothing is expected and everything given is accepted with gratitude.  Sometimes our emotions come with this entitled attitude, “after all I do this is the thanks I get!” I look at my parents and I know that I have not always been a good daughter.  In fact, in my time I have inflicted a lot of pain, but never have they grumbled about having made me.  They get angry with my actions, but always love me and desire the best for me.  That’s God in them showing me quite clearly that love, truth and goodness are not emotions that expire when a negative feeling comes along, but endure all things.  Love is always ready “to excuse, to trust, to hope and endure whatever comes” without regard to emotional highs and lows.  Let’s pray to always remain in God’s truth and to learn to reign over our emotions.            

Happy 2nd Birthday In My Shoes

Today in my shoes turns 2! 

My life philosophy can be summed up in a few short words, “my origin is Love, my vocation is Love and my destiny is Love” or as Saint Paul tells us, “the most important of these is love.” 

Last night I was reflecting on the story of the prodigal son, and two things stood out that I want to share with you.  First, I mediated on how the Father sees his son returning while the son is still far, far away.  This description leads to the conclusion that the father must have been waiting for the return of his son.  Outside on his porch the father waited patiently for his wild, sinful son to return home.  Likewise God patiently waits for each of us to return to Him.  God too sits on His porch looking into the horizon hoping to see His children returning to Him out of our own freewill because love is freely given never demanded.  God doesn’t care how long you have been away or the things that you have done- nothing is too big to separate us from the love of God (SMILE)!  The prodigal son is famous for taking his inheritance and squandering it in all types of selfish, lustful, sinful ways.  Like us, the prodigal son is covered in dirty sin- but he has the humility to repent and seek his father for forgiveness.  His example of seeking his father even after he has been such a horrible son should motivate us to always seek God who never tires of forgiving us- for God is love and He waits for us every single day.  And am sure He throws a party and the angels rejoice every time a person returns to the Kingdom of God.

The other thing that caught my attention in the Prodigal Son Parable was something the father tells his other son, the son who has been with his father working diligently all of his life.  The second son gets angry at his father’s reaction toward the return of his troubled brother.  He confronts his father and asks him why he’s throwing a party for his brother when it’s him who has been loyal all of his life.  I absolutely love the response of the father, “my son you are here with me always; everything I have is yours.”  In this story we often focus on the prodigal son because we can easily identify with his sin, repentance and need for forgiveness; but, for those who have been following Christ for years (if not all of your lives) we can get this entitled attitude and get mad or envious when others get blessed.  Yet, last night, God showed me something that I had never captured in my multiple readings of this story, “everything I have is yours.”  God has given us everything including Himself!  Father Sergio says that if we knew how many blessings we dismiss because we are not open to God we would cry.  The responsible son has been with his father all of his life, yet I imagined he never asked his dad for a calf to celebrate with his friends and now he’s bitter because his dad is throwing a party in honor of his brother’s return.  How many times do we let fear, pride or sin keep us from asking God to bless us? Or because of fear, pride and sin we don’t accept His blessing?  God is rich in forgiveness and rich in generosity, but we must make a decision to seek Him out of our own freewill.  We must open our hearts to Him.

Big Thank You, from Penny & Dollar!

Last night, during adoration I was so consumed in this story seeing a lot of things for the very first time and I was so happy thinking of nothing else.  Maybe because I was so at peace and my mind was on God, I was able to clearly hear His voice and His words caused me to smile BIG.  I looked at the monstrance and just smiled at Him whispering, “You are good God- You got me good.”  I think by now you know that I struggle a lot in my spiritual journey with this feeling that I am wasting my life and over the past three days the negative feeling returned and God annihilated it with Psalm 23 - just the first verse; “The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want.”  Here I was engrossed in the story of the prodigal son and out of nowhere the Spirit of God comes and gives me peace beyond understanding.  The biblical verse made so much sense to me because I am in the hands of God and under the wings of His providence.  God loves us so much! He really does and that is what I hope you gather from these ramblings.  God loves you to infinity and beyond.  “Your origin is Love, your vocation is Love and your destiny is Love!”

I love you in Christ!  Thanks for reading and cheers to another year gone by…           

Be Kind Anyway

I was raised as we in Spanish would say a la antigua or with old fashion principles.  One of the values my parents instilled early on was to have pride in and protect the family name.  During my formative years they taught me to be friendly to everyone and treat people with respect.  I remember every time we visited friends I was expected to greet everyone with a firm handshake.  Growing up they did teach me scholarly things, but mostly focused on forming a good person with a kind heart.  They taught by example, my parents are extremely popular people in our town in Mexico (they have numerous godchildren to prove it) because people love and respect them so much.  This respect came from two things: my parents are people of honor and extremely kind to everyone who crosses their path.  When we moved to California things didn’t change and soon the entire neighborhood were friends with my parents.  Sometimes they walk my dog and whoever they meet in their path they smile and say hello.  They go out of their way to be kind.  I remember the first time I had a BBQ at my house my neighbor was cutting a tree and my dad grabbed a plate of carne asada with all the trimmings and very natural handed the plate over to my very surprised neighbor. In our home, getting good grades was secondary to being a kind, welcoming, serviceable person to others.  And I think that their example of human kindness has served me greatly in my life for I too boast of many friendships.

Growing up, the transition from Mexico to California really affected me because of the language barrier.  Starting at a new school where I couldn’t be understood or understand anyone was extremely difficult and I became a withdrawn, quiet child.  As I got older my shyness kept me from making a lot of friends, but the few friends I had were highly treasured.  In high school I met most of my friends who are my core group or my best friends forever as my nephew says.  In having this small group of friends I felt like I needed no one else and for many years I didn’t let anyone else in.  I love my best friends they are people of exceptional character, who have traveled with me through some of my darkest hours and though none have a relationship with Christ they have been very supportive of my reversion into the Catholic Church.  Yet, as I have grown in my faith so has my need increased to make solid Catholic friendships.  I love Victorian and Gregorian literature because it presents a culture of high morality - a culture very similar to the simple way of life I was brought up in.  Growing up I always felt like a weirdo because my old fashioned values seemed to clash with the lifestyles those close to me led.  It wasn’t until I started making Catholic friends that I found people who were waiting on sex until marriage, who believed in sacramental marriage and who valued traditional family, like me.  These friendships gave me the confidence to be utterly me with my Victorian, antiquated principles!

Though I thought that I needed no more friends God showed me that in order for me to continue maturing as a Catholic I needed godly people to encourage, accompany and guide me in my spiritual journey.  As I began to open myself to friendships I soon was like my parents blessed with so many wonderful friendships and now I have my core Catholic best friends too, who encourage me so much!  I learned that I didn’t have to give up my non-Catholic friends because they weren’t causing me to sin, after much trial and error I realized that I got drunk out of my own actions not because of peer pressure.  I learned to see the goodness in them (not the sin) and am so glad that they didn’t give up on me either while I found this out or as I gave up the party life and became more religious.  A friend wrote asking me to write a piece on how to make Catholic friendships, I didn’t realize that this was a challenge for people so I promise to tackle it next.  In the meantime know that good friendships come in all shapes and sizes and just because people are not Catholic doesn’t mean that they won’t make great friends.  I have a bundle of great people in my life who though not religious are my BFF’s and who I hope and pray one day will have a conversion of Heart and Soul.         

Education on Catholic Quinceañeras

On Saturday, my brother and I were godparents to my cousin’s daughter for her quinceañera.  In Latin American cultures we have this huge celebration for the fifteen birthday of girls as a way to reveal to society the transition from girl into young womanhood.  Traditionally girls were raised to learn various domestic skills before the reveal as a way to indicate to the community that she was ready for marriage. In addition, to her domestic training girls usually have to go through religious classes at their home parish (typically the confirmation program).  On the day of the celebration the girl along with her mother choose a ball gown in the color and design of their mutual liking.  Traditionally the girls were not allowed to wear make-up until the day of the reveal as a way to show that growth from girl to woman.  The celebration begins with a thanksgiving blessing or mass.  During the mass the girl is given a Bible, a rosary, a pendant with the patron saint of Mexico, Our Lady of Guadalupe, and a tiara which have been previously blessed by the godparents.  During the liturgical ritual the girl gives thanks to God, renews her commitment to Him and her Catholic faith, receives His blessing in this new stage of life she is beginning, presents a bouquet of flowers to Mother Mary as an act of consecration and receives communion.

There’s a lot of rituals that take place within the quinceañera mass that all have rich symbolic meaning. At the beginning the quinceañera enters the church in procession with her court, parents and godparents.  The priest greets her at the altar, where a designated chair is placed for the young lady.  The readings are chosen especially for the occasion and the quinceañera is encouraged to participate by reading one of the readings.  The homily is given with themes on remaining true and thankful to God, appreciating parents, family, friends and serving others. The gifts presented symbolize higher truths: the rosary and Bible symbolize the eternal word of God, the pendant symbolize a girl’s devotion to Mary and virginity, the crown represent her superior morality and serves as a reminder that she is God’s princess.  During the service the quinceañera makes a commitment to God and the blessed Virgin to live her life according to the teachings of Christ and the church by renewing her baptismal vows.  After communion the priest gives her a final blessing and the community congratulates the quinceañera with a warm applause.

After Mass guest are encouraged to join the quinceañera and her family at the reception for a yummy meal and lots of dancing.  During the reception many cultural rituals occur which have more of a societal significance.  The quinceañera is presented with her last doll (usually a beautiful porcelain doll with a replica of the quinceañera's dress) symbolizing the end of childhood; her first set of high heels representing her entrance into womanhood and the crown usually not given during mass is now placed on her head to remain for the rest of the celebration.  Another memorable thing that happens is the quinceañera’s first dance with her daddy- this is usually a very emotional point were daddy’s sometimes lose it and cry.  My brother and I were the godparents who sponsored the tiara and prior to the beginning of the dance we had to go in front of everyone and place the crown on her head.  The godparents usually sponsor items for the party because the celebration is a community affair where friends and family contribute monetarily.  The mentality is one of unity today you help me tomorrow we help you.  I wasn’t able to take pictures during the religious ceremony because I was too involved worshipping God, but I took some great ones of the reception before my camera died (sad face)!