Some Thoughts

When I got laid off from my mortgage job, I asked God that if in my future I was to be a career woman to provide me with a job that I was happy to wake up and go to.  Or that if I was to be a house wife to provide me with a good, Catholic fellow.  Well, when I was hired as a teacher I figured that for the time being God’s desire was for me to work and help the many young souls that come into my classroom.  I made the commitment that my entire focus would be to making sure that I transitioned well into my job, especially after so many tries and failures (at teaching) due to my mental illness.  I had a weird schedule the first year and had to give up my bible study groups along with sacrificing my social life.  Then the pandemic hit and isolation hit the entire world.

Post pandemic, my work schedule changed to a normal 8AM – 4PM schedule and now that I feel like I am succeeding at my job I am more able to focus my attention to other areas of my life.  Though on a daily I never know how my day will go; whether I will have a free moment to gather my thoughts, or if I will be able to take my full hour lunch or sacrifice it to run student council- I am more able to balance work and the rest of my life.  I have become more intentional of doing things for me as I have seen the consequences of just working. While I love my job (minus the drive), I need my Catholic community to keep a healthy mind.  Thus, I am really looking forward to my first trip since the lockdown this upcoming October.

To prepare I am going on a two day retreat next weekend with my local parish.  I am hoping that participating in the sacraments, being around other God loving folks and the talks will ignite the neglected embers in my soul.  Since my reversion to the Catholic faith, I haven’t been this cold in my faith and I definitely don’t want to remain here.  I know for a fact, that my mental health requires both medication and my faith community and these past couple of years that has been quite evident.  Maybe God is trying to show me that man doesn’t live of bread alone.