Everyday Heroes

I have a student that everyday I call him for his appointment he’s always like, “what day is today- with things as they are, I cannot never keep track.”  These past few months that’s exactly, how I felt- everyday just blended together.  That’s why I am so grateful that places are starting to open up again bringing with it a sense of hope that perhaps the worst is behind us.  This past week I was able to go to confession and visit the dog park!  I had been cooped up in my house and I finally went out to two of my favorite places.  Today, I heard one thrift store is opening and I plan to make a quick stop.  Though I am an introvert and being in isolation perhaps has been less challenging than for extroverts- I do miss having the choice to be out.  However, my parents are of the critical infection age, so my siblings and I have tried to make sacrifices in order to make sure that they remain healthy.

It’s funny how something so small can impact our lives in such a big way.  I live in the city where we had massive protests to open up the county again. I still remember the crowds on the news holding signs “it’s my body and it’s my choice if I die.”  A bit selfish, but people react to challenge in all kinds of weird ways.  As a Catholic I am used to the idea of sacrifice, that even though the odds of me contacting the virus is much less than someone older- I still need to follow protocol to keep others safe.  To many this idea of giving something up for the good of others is not in their realm of comprehension.  However, as members of a bigger community sometimes we must sacrifice, even if it is a personal freedom to help our neighbor.   

I remember a teacher once told me, “history is full of heroes and people continue to be fascinated by stories about heroes- you will rarely, if ever, hear a story of a person who gave up on his dreams.”  This is true even today when Marvel Comic movies sell out on opening week.  The soul is attracted to heroes, those who overcome great challenges, opposition and exhibit great personal character.  There’s also an element of sacrifice in the hero’s journey.  Some do give up their lives, but they do so as an act that will save many lives and not as an act of selfishness.  I am reminded of Saint Maximilian Kolbe who took the place of another in the fire in Auschwitz.  He was a Catholic priest who volunteered to be executed in the place of a stranger, he gave the stranger life and the opportunity to be able to return to his family.  In the worst of times we thrive in hearing testimonies of everyday men and women who meet challenges with utter self-denial.  During this quarantine, I saw many photographs of hospital staff who worked such long days that their face masks left bruising on their faces- now that’s they stuff heroes are made!         

A Bit of Rollercoaster

It’s been a week like Shakespeare would describe one of “sweet, sorrow.”  On Monday, I awoke to the news that 16 people were laid off from our joined five charters, five staff from my center.  Though I was the last to get hired, I was not affected and finding out that I get to stay and continue living my dream job brought all sorts of mixed feelings – relieved that I get to stay and hurt for those that are leaving us at the end of the school year.  We are living in difficult times, Covid-19 has had negative effects beyond health concerns and I just pray that soon we will be able to lead normal lives again.  The financial repercussions have been extreme and its scary because if things don’t improve none of us are safe in keeping our jobs!

My take on "Portrait of Miss Bowles with a Dog" by Joshua Reynolds

I also was able to complete year one of Induction this week and get certified to teach ERWC.  My last two weeks were crazy busy attending classes and workshops after my work hours – my eyes and head were in a state of perpetual pain, but I finally can come into the upcoming week knowing that now I only have to worry about completing end of the year parent conferences and no longer extra course work.  This is such a relief because I hate, hate, hate screens.  I never wanted to be the protagonist of my own films and this quarantine has me in front of a camera all day long.  I crave for the day we are told that we can return to working on site.  At the moment the plan is that we will be working virtually until the end of August month two of our new school year. So, things are ever changing and for one that has difficulty with change it has been quite a time.

As I state all these laments, God is so good! He knows how much I miss the Sacraments and Father just announced that today we can come for drive thru confessions!  I seriously, did the Snoopy happy dance because I so need to go after such a long period of not being able to.  Then the Diocese of Orange announced that on Corpus Christi Sunday the parishes will open for Mass!  These changes have me elated because now I know that I will be tangibly fed to continue fighting the good fight.  These changes are also glimpses that perhaps we can soon go back to leading our normal lives and gain the freedoms that have been put on hold (smile).

Mary Undoer of Knots

It’s Mother’s Day weekend a great time to reflect on my ever-growing relationship with Mother Mary.  We haven’t always had a close relationship (mostly my fault) because it took me some years to realize that I wasn’t cheating on God by running to His Mother.  These days, I have a deep devotion to Mary, Our Lady Undoer of Knots.  While traveling thru Europe I discovered that Pope Francis has a strong bond with Our Lady Undoer of Knots this raised my curiosity and when I found the prayer I was totally in love by the beauty of the words.  I love her title because it immediately brings images of liberation from things that oppress my soul and keep me away from God.  Whenever I am in trouble or just feeling really beaten down I pray the novena and by the third day I feel lighthearted and free.

A few months ago, I was invited to go to my first gala.  As I sat on my table the center piece really peaked my curiosity and as I looked closely I saw that it was none other than Our Lady Undoer of Knots.  Every table had a different saint or image of Mary; that I had sat at the table with the one I hold a strong devotion to made me utterly happy.  I had been going through some struggles and just sitting at that table reminded that I am not alone, that I also have a heavenly Mother to run to filled me with hope.  It brought the prayer to my mind and all I could think of, was how do I bring her home for I knew my family would also benefit from her coming with me.  At the end of the gala we were told that the center pieces were part of a raffle and whoever made the biggest donation could bring it home.

I had shared with the people at my table my devotion to Mary Undoer of Knots, so I immediately made an offer, but once I had reached my limit I was sad that I wouldn’t be able to bring her home.  Yet, the generous people at my table said they would all donate the rest that I needed for the thousand dollars donation and that I could bring her home because Mary wanted to go to the home with the person who already had such an intimate relationship with her.  I had only met the people at my table that day and their generosity left me speechless.  I was excited to bring her home because I knew that my whole family would be blessed having her live with us.  I finally found the perfect place out in my backyard where we spend of our time and we all love to keep her company and most of all know that when we need rest she will intercede for us with the perfect prayer of liberation.   

The Essentials

I went to adoration this week, Father placed the tabernacle on a window facing out so that the public could come be in the presence of God from the safety of their cars.  As I sat looking at Him I realized how important it is to have a tangible presence - a refuge to run to in times of trouble.  Beyond the Sacraments I have been missing my freedom to run to the nearest parish and just sit in a pew comforted by God in the midst of us.  I have other friends who have mental disabilities and the quarantine without our usual church treatment is taking its toll on us.  Am perplex that churches are not in the essential category since so many of us depend on their services to stay healthy.  I have a friend who had a mental breakdown from the stresses of working from home and not having the church groups that normally support the well-being of others to help her through it.

Not by bread only lives the man, we are spiritual people that require spiritual sustenance.  While I have been trying to get my nourishment from the various virtual transmissions our Church leaders are putting out, I miss not being able to leave my home to sit in the silence of a pew and just look at Him and allow His presence to fill my whole.  I miss my bible study groups because even though I have attended some of my women’s groups virtually- the screen makes it impersonal.  There’s this connection that gets lost thru the screen, so when Father had this brilliant idea of placing Jesus in a place we can run to and not be barricaded behind a computer screen is such an exceptional blessing!

I am bipolar and I have been trying really hard to stay positive.  My job is super stressful – it feels like I started a new job the day I went virtual because I had to learn how to do my job in an entirely different platform.  Next week I have to give state testing to all my kids and that’s going to be quite a challenge, in addition to holding end of the year parent conferences online… This week we received the news that the plan is to work remotely until the end of August and that almost pushed me off the edge.  Am not sure how summer school will work out, but it all looks virtually bleak… Yet, what kept me hopeful and intact was being able to run to Jesus in the parking lot of my parish and just sit with Him.  We are all making sacrifices and it hurts in the process – but our Church is really trying to help us through it even when our government officials have erroneously deemed them unessential.  For me as many I know there’s nothing more essential than our Catholic Church especially during hardships!