It’s been a Holy Week like no other, an Easter Triduum like
no other and tomorrow an Easter like no other.
While I have missed participating in the rituals and the Eucharist- I am
thankful to have so much access to those priests that are so devoted to making
sure that even in the distance we are nurtured and we are spiritually fed. I have tried to join virtual services and to
not let this Lent go without its solemnity.
Even so, I miss community, I miss being able to go into a church and sit
in a pew and pray, I miss the Sacraments and I miss the Eucharist…
Usually for Lent, Catholics try to give some things up to
remind us of the great Sacrifice our Lord made for us, to spiritually unite
with Him, to elevate our prayer life through austerity. Yet, this season of Lent we had to give up
things that none of us had counted on giving up and I don’t know about you- but
being in the house (as much as I love my home) away from the people and things
that fill my life has been challenging. And
I know that I have it easy because so far this quarantine hasn’t affected me financially
like it has so many others. Yet, I do
feel the pains of the restriction of freedoms I normally take for granted.
I am bipolar and sometimes I get these moments of severe
anxiety and usually what helps me is to seek refuge in a church. I enjoy sitting
in a pew. Sometimes I pray, but most
of
the time I just sit there in silence enjoying the sun shining through stained
glass windows, the sounds of running water from the baptismal font and the images
of saints that surround me. Beyond the Sacraments
this is the little luxury that I miss the most- the ability to flee into the
nave of a parish seeking refuge from my anxieties. I’ve always thought that as Catholics we had
it good because we could go into a church at anytime during the day and the
doors would be open to come in. Whether
services were going on or not Catholic churches are always open for people who
like me find refuge sitting in a pew on non-operational hours. Through all of this I am learning how I take
so many things for granted and in being forced to give up so much that I wasn’t
planning on giving up this Lent I find comfort offering my small sufferings to
God, for I know He will redeem them.
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