Jesus Refill

What a difference a week makes…

Ever since I started working this new job, I have been praying constantly.  First the prayers were about God giving me the abilities to perform my duties even with bipolar.  Then, they were about the goals that I had to accomplish as part of my job.  Until they became about interceding for my students.  I don’t think there has been a moment in my life where I have been so dependent on prayer. My hour commute each way gives me the opportunity to reflect and to ask God for very specific things that I know my kids are struggling with.  These moments of prayer have made a huge difference in my life and in my relationship with God.  Everyday I am witness to the small miracles that these prayers bear fruit to and I thank God for His providence.

Every week I get new students and last week I received a girl with severe anxiety and she had a major meltdown on her first appointment with me.  She felt like there were too many people and the close proximity in which we work with each other made her panic.  After she left that day, I was thinking that she wasn’t going to return, but I prayed for her because I have my own battles with anxiety and I totally can relate with the stress a new situation can produce.  The school psychologist changed her appointment to the afternoon when things at the center are much more-quiet and my girl returned and by the end of the week, she wished me a happy Spring break and I think I even saw a hint of a smile.  I think in this line of work, these small victories are signs of God’s presence.

Technology is also great, I had a student that was out last week and he’s one of those teens that rarely says a word, but I noticed when he returned to class that he was not my normal quiet kid.  So, I sent him a message and told him that I had noticed he wasn’t his usual self and that I was sending him an air hug in addition to being available for him to vent.  The following day, he stayed after class and told me that his mom had been hospitalized, but that she was doing much better.  Again, getting him to trust me enough to tell me his struggles was a such a big moment.

Last time I was a high school teacher I was in so much need that I didn’t have enough to give my kids and I think that’s why I failed as a teacher.  Now, I not only have my health back, but I have a faith that has taught me that life is more than just about me and that there are lessons of greater importance than teaching grammar.  Jesus’ ministry teaches us about the importance of servitude, of helping each other out as if we are a community of brotherhood.  In every interaction, I try to show my kids and those that I work with a living Jesus one full of love and a willingness to serve.  Some days I feel exhausted when I leave the school for the day, but then during that drive home I have a moment with God and He never fails to refill me with more of Him.  In these moments I pray like I have never done before and I feel for once in my life the power of prayer (smile).