Words From My Brother

Recently I came over a journal entry that my brother-in-heaven had written.  It was a list of six goals or maybe six things that he learned in his short life on earth.  As I read each bullet point, I felt his lingering presence – each word brought with a piece of him to me.  They transported me to a familiar place where he and I once existed.  The simple words recreated him and for a moment I felt like he was still with me, continuing to guide me – even from the grave:

• Always try it- if you fail at least you will have the satisfaction of knowing you went for it.

• Have the courage to be you.

• Be kind. Be humble.

• If you love someone, let them know.

• A rejection is better than a “what if.”

• Do not get to the end of your life with a collection of regrets.

Some nights, the two of us would go to the park after the lights went out and sit on a bench while Dollar ran free in the dark field.  There he would talk to me of his experiences and his hopes for our lives.  He always imparted little nuggets of wisdom.  He was eleven years older than me and perhaps he felt it his duty to teach me lessons he learned from his failures.  Maybe it was the undetected Schizophrenia, but he never had the courage to pursue the girl(s) he liked and he wanted me to not allow fear to control my actions.  Sometimes I can be very brave, but when I am faltering, I like to think of my brother and his desires for my life.  Am glad that I came across his words- written down for me to tangibly carry – so that in moments when I lose my way his words will help me find my path again (smile).   

I know that I have disregarded my blog, lately- I promise to be more consistent.