The Lord is my Shepherd

Yesterday morning, I taught on the Paschal Triduum for the first time in my RCIA class.  Usually I spend a good deal of time developing the one-hour lesson incorporating various learning styles to promote better learning.  I am a fan of PowerPoint presentations because I can include images and videos to better enhance the lesson.  Though I walked away from teaching when I was diagnosed as bipolar and have since retired from that profession, I realize that through my volunteer work I have never really hung the towel.  When I coordinated monthly events at Saint Francis Senior Home my ease with being in front of people helped tremendously lead the ministry.  I developed short faith lessons to share with the seniors at the home.  When I was a Confirmation core member, I too had to develop lesson plans for the teens and now for the past six years I have been instructing in the faith formation program for adults.  It is this understanding that has helped me realize that perhaps teaching is possible even for someone who is bipolar.

This past year, I had the flexibility to work from home so I was able to attend a lot of the school events at my nephew’s school.  He transferred to middle school this year and as I walked the halls of his school and saw the walls covered in work from the students my heart stirred with a desire to be part of this atmosphere.  As I interacted with my nephew’s friends, I came to the realization that as a substitute teacher I used to love my middle school assignments.  The combination of getting to experience middle school through my nephew and the realization that I have never stopped teaching put in my heart a desire to return to that profession- but this time as a middle school teacher.

After my trip from Mexico I renewed my teaching credential and I started looking in both public and Catholic schools for open teaching positions.  During this time in the school year there are not a lot of openings available, thus I will most likely need to wait until the summer when the hiring for educators occurs.  With my severance, unemployment, and my eBay business I think financially I will be ok to wait until then.  I actually would prefer to begin at the beginning of the school year since starting so late in the year is quite chaotic, but I am leaving it up to God.  A priest once told me that as long as I did my part by applying God would do His in giving me a job.  Recently, I lost my peace when I saw that there were only three vacancies for me to apply right now.  I was thinking what will people think if it takes me really long to find a job?  Will they judge me as a lazy, procrastinator?  These negative thoughts filled me disturbing my peace until I finally put a stop to it.  I went to God and remained in His silence until I heard His voice, “the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.”  In the words of my favorite psalm- I realized that God is the ultimate provider, so I need to relax, continue looking, applying and God will do the rest (smile).