Monday, January 7, 2019

2019 Dust Myself Off and Try Again


Happy New Year!  It’s the time for resolutions- to create a list of things one hopes to tackle in 2019. I usually have a list ready, but last year I learned that instead of a list with numerous changes I work better if I just have one big goal to focus on.  This 2019 my one resolution is me, to work on me.  As Dollar has aged, I have changed our hikes and long excursions with short ten minute walks around the neighborhood.  I don’t want to go on strenuous walks alone because I feel guilty leaving my little wolf behind; but, I know that sacrificing my activity is not doing either of us any good.  Thus, this New Year I plan on increasing my activity level – even if it’s just on my own.  Most of the time I get so distracted with all the things that I need to accomplish that I sacrifice working on me.  I also have way too many things going on and I think that I need to start letting go of some activities to focus my energy on giving my best to only a couple of things instead, this purging will help me focus on me- to improve areas that need major attention.
In defining working on me I feel like my whole being needs a bit of a makeover.  I especially struggle with my weight due to the medications that I take for Bipolar, since my diagnoses I feel like I have focused so much on my mental wellbeing that I dismissed my physical.  BUT, I finally feel like I am in control of my mental disability and am trying to live my life no longer limited by this struggle.  Thus, I want to learn to be physically healthy.  Before my diagnoses I was at a healthy weight and active, this gives me hope that I can reach within me and find that physically healthy girl.  I know that due to the side effects of the medications it will be challenging to overcome the desire to stuff my face and I also need to learn not use food as a coping mechanism.  Thus, this New Year involves re-teaching myself to have both a healthy relationship with food and a more active lifestyle.  
I’ve mentioned this desire in the past and obviously I got distracted and didn’t tackle my objective, but what I have learned from a persistent predator trying to eat my birds is that it doesn’t matter how many times I fail- the goal is to continue trying.  Winston Churchill said it best, “success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.”  Thus, this 2019 is going to be a year of persistence of trying and trying until I taste victory.     

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