Overcoming the Tortures of Small Talk during Christmas

Last night my friend convinced me to go with her to the annual Young Catholic Professionals Christmas party, graciously hosted in one of the beautiful Coto de Casa homes in Mission Viejo.  In a moment of weakness I accepted the invitation even though I am not charmed by networking events, not even when they are Catholic.  I mean seriously to an introvert there’s nothing worse than being surrounded by strangers and having to make small talk for a few hours.  Yet, my buddy raved about the party all year long and her excitement only grew as the date approached so my curiosity got the best of me.  I have been to a couple of the YCP events in the past and while they are quite popular bringing great numbers at each monthly event, I prefer low key, informal gatherings.  This is not to say that the organization isn’t a great place to make and foster friendships, or to network with others in both career and spiritual matters.  I think if you are new in town and want to get to know other like minded people this is a place where the mission is Catholicism in the professional world and it’s open to both single and married individuals.  I am not a regular attendee because I get stressed out just thinking of making small talk.  Is there anything worse than a night of pieces of forced conversation?  For extroverts, like my friend there’s nothing more fun than roaming the room connecting with others - for me I prefer a corner and one interesting person.

Yesterday, without trying I met two really interesting girls: one a scientist and the other a missionary from Florida.  After arriving at the beautiful home I decided that I was not going to force myself to pull out the “small talk” manual, instead I was just going to float around quietly enjoying my surroundings and listening to the cheerful music while zipping on a glass of sweet, white wine.  I had forgotten how fun it is to people watch!  Actually, I began by enjoying the home décor, the owners have the same obsession with nativities that I do and while their displays where porcelain masterpieces it made me happy to see someone with a similar collection.  I walked around the beautifully furnished home as if I were inside a museum full of Christian art.  I was lost in my little world when I bumped into the first interesting girl; she was wearing this amazing gold, maxi skirt.  I commented on her skirt and the conversation took off into a great discussion about JPII Theology of the Body.  She happens to be with a small group of missionaries that travel teaching groups of high schoolers (throughout parishes in the dioceses of California) about chastity, modesty and sexuality.

After our conversation came to a close I went into another room and sort of squeeze myself into a corner intending to people watch when I met the second interesting girl.  She was making her way towards the coffee and I happened to be standing in the way as she politely asked me to squeeze by we began a conversation.  She asked me about the group, and how long I had been attending their events and how I liked it.  Without thought I told her that I was not a huge fan of networking events because I am terrible at small talk.  Then we had a great conversation on the topic of introversion and how to get more comfortable in situations like the one I was in.  I told her that I am not too shabby at starting discussions with others my trouble is that I don’t know how to exit.  So, she shared how she has been reading a book on how to successfully network and the book suggested things like, “I need to go refill my drink, or excuse me I need to use the restroom…” As positive exit strategies (smile).

White Elephant Game.

Host giving a speech.

So, in one night I learned the following: at networking functions I don’t need to talk to everyone nor do I need to feel pressured to talk to someone.  Not forcing the conversation is the best way to find compatible people.  I decided that instead of speaking with the first person I bumped into I would scan the room and providence provided a girl in a shiny skirt to peak my interest.  Then, I decided that I wasn’t going to put on act, but be honest and I met the second interesting person who taught me exit strategies (smile).  There was also a white elephant gift activity and I am glad I participated because that was another way to interact with others without the awkwardness of small talk.  I even won a “Stanger Things” tee in the gift exchange!  While I still don’t forsee attending YCP meetings regularly I learned some great lessons to help me in the future and I am passing on the wisdom.  Have a Merry Christmas!

My buddy and I with our winning gifts.

Five Benefits of Daily Mass

I got up this morning ready for a day’s work, but due to a human resources hiccup I won’t be starting back at the office until after Christmas- which means one more week of vacation (smile) and more importantly one more week of daily Mass!  When I started attending Mass regularly late last month I didn’t realize what a difference it would make so quickly.  Here are five benefits I have noticed.

1. It’s the best way to start my day!  During this period of unemployment I had a great reason to get out of bed each morning, I had God waiting for me in such a personal way.  Sometimes the blankets called my name, but the encounter with God and my community motivated me get out of bed and to keep a positive attitude throughout the day.
2. Tangible and spiritual nourishment!  I love the Eucharist and receiving it every day was better than when Popeye popped open a can of spinach.  I’ve heard of saints living solely on the Eucharist and I totally believe it because I have experienced the supernatural strength of Jesus.  There was a time (when I first came back to the church) when I looked forward to getting fed every Sunday, and I felt like a car running out of gas by the following Saturday.  By attending daily my gas tank is always on full (smile).
3. Overcoming Sin- I have my favorite sins and by favorite I mean the ones that have the greatest hold on me.  However, my desire to be able receive the Eucharist daily motivated me to stay clear of my sinful passions.  This was perhaps one of the greatest discoveries because I have been working on a particular sin and I had felt like it would be impossible to gain control, yet this past month I haven’t even been tempted!
4. It’s a great way to learn about the saints, each day we celebrate the life of one or more saints and during the homily Father usually gives us a quick bio on one saint.  These short biographies are great introductions and inspiration into further study.
5. Genuine encounter with Jesus, he’s waiting for us at all times.  When we love someone we want to always be in their presence, the same must be true in our relationship with God.  He waits for us every day to come to him and when we leave his presence, it will be full of gifts to help us in our daily lives.

I work east coast hours which means that I normally can’t start my day with Mass, so these weeks that I have been able to do so has been the greatest gift.  In less than a month I have seen such great benefits that I hope when I return to work (next week) I will continue to try to add more services to my week. Change happens gradually so taking baby steps will aid in obtaining success.   My recommendation is adding one more service each week for a few months and once that becomes routine add another and so forth until one day you become a daily Mass goer (smile).  

Bipolar Taming the Shopping Fiend

It’s the time for presents and shopping.  People save money or have a stash set aside especially for holiday shopping… Spending money can be a lot of fun, but for people with bipolar it can also be the beginning to the demise.  During periods of mania it’s quite typical for a bipolar sufferer to blow money like a leaf blower blows leaves.  It’s a time of fast-paced, grandiose thoughts when the five-inch towering heels that can only be worn when sitting seem like the perfect purchase.  I’ve been there and have previously gotten myself in so much debt pursuing the dreams of mania.  Thus, during this month of irregular shopping sprees, I wanted to share how I turned a weakness into a strength.  

One is finding and sticking to the proper medication.  The proper medication will stabilize your thoughts and diminish quite drastically periods of mania.  Now, I rarely get uncommon bursts of energy and when I do they are not as strong or as long as they used to be.  My thoughts are also not as unrealistic.

Having the right support group, my family really helps me put things in perspective.  At the beginning, of my treatment I would run my ideas through them and they would help me sort through the possible goals and objectives and those that were produced by the mania.  Now I am pretty good at deciphering manic thoughts on my own.

Learning to predict periods of irregular thoughts, I know that as a woman my meds tend to not work as well during certain days of the month.  Thus, when I am feeling unusually insomniac I know that not sleeping will bring burst of energy and irregular thoughts; but I also know the cause and that it will only last a few days.  It’s nice understanding that it’s my little crazy combined with my hormones and that in a matter of days my body will naturally find balance.  I think this is really important to not beat yourself up during these days of emotional high and lows, but find comfort knowing that it’s mostly biology to blame (smile).

For taming the shopping, I turned my weakness into a strength by making it into a hobby.  When I am feeling like a shopping spree I go to the thrift store and blow twenty or thirty bucks!  I go on an archeology adventure and dig through piles of used donations until I find treasure.  Then I bring them home and sometimes I realize that what I purchased is indeed a useless item to me, but I find that in the eBay community someone will happily take it off my hands.  I would like to go further into this thrift store shopping and reselling in a future post because I know there’s interest in this subject, but for now I must say that it’s a great way for me to not get into debt.  I can buy the unwearable shoes during a manic state for a few bucks and then resale them when the high wears off for a profit.

There are limits to the things that I can do due to my disability, but for the most part I try to live a normal life where I am rarely aware that I have a funny brain.  I’ve lived with it so long that I have learned and continue to learn how to live a life worthy of me and not one that is defined by bipolar.  I am very blessed to have access to medical care, medications and a support group in my family; in addition to my friends and faith community.  My faith has been a tremendous part of my recovery and my ability to maintain my sanity, I talk about it here on a regular basis.  Thus, if you find yourself affected by something out of your control, don’t give up - press on things will get better.

Our Lady of Guadalupe Tradition

I had to take my dad for lab work this morning so I am running a little behind; however, I have some great news: I have a job again!  On Friday, the company that laid me off called and offered me a permanent position, with a small team they are keeping in California.  It came rather unexpected, but as of next Monday, I will be back at the office after less than a month of vacation (smile).  Praise be to God and thank you for all the prayers friends…

This week is a special week as we honor the apparitions of our Lady of Guadalupe to Juan Diego and during the weekend my parents and I were able to partake of our parish’s celebration.  There was Mass accompanied by mariachi, followed by a party full of Mexican delights.  Tomorrow there will be the traditional mañanitas service and for the first time in my life I am planning on going!  When we lived in Mexico I was too young to attend and when we moved to California I lost my faith and all interest in participating in church activities.  This year thanks to my schedule being free I am so going!

This is a time for Mexican pride, when we are encouraged to dress in our traditional, regional outfits.   My heart does flips when I see the many parents still passing this beautiful tradition to their children and it saddens me because my sister and brother-in-law have no interest in passing down this cultural richness to my nephew.  As a bicultural woman nothing makes me more happy than the fusion of my Mexican roots with the growing branches of my American way of life.  Being able to celebrate and participate in Mass in English or Spanish makes me feel so utterly special because I can worship God in both languages… BUT when I hear the mariachi sounds in prayer- WOW, my chest puffs with pride.  A friend posted a video at his parish with a banda playing the mañanitas service and being from Michoacan I would love to one day be present at such a service! 

Hope that you all can make the time to attend a service in honor of Our Lady of Guadalupe! 

"The Star" Movie Review

When I was in a really low place, I would make visits to the chapel and contemplate the birth of Jesus.  I would look at the babe in the manger and all the people around him:  Mary and Joseph, the three wise men and the shepherds.  Even though each of the people in that stable have a particular point-of-view worthy of contemplating, the animals were what always caught my attention.  It didn’t have anything to do with me loving animals – it was a matter of proximity.  In one image of the nativity there’s a little lamb resting its small head on the manger.  How throughout the years I have craved to take the place of the small lamb, of being so close to Jesus that I can smell his sweet baby fragrance, touch his skin and rest my head on his bed so close to my savior.  Well, the next best thing to that has happened!  Sony Pictures Animations released “The Star” a film based on the first Christmas, but from the animals perspective!  I encourage you to take the time to watch it.

The movie comes from the perspective of Mary and Joseph’s donkey, the wise men’s camels, the shepherds’ sheep and so on. This retelling makes Mary shine as the mother of God.  Her kindness to all the animals especially her small donkey is really evoking.  The film sticks closely to the biblical narrative it’s clever and clean so parents don’t have to worry their children will be exposed to anything untoward.  And the cast that give voice to the characters make this film a success!  Their charisma and chemistry is cinematic gold.

My mom, nephew and I had the pleasure of watching it together and we all came out of the theatre completely impressed by the quality of the film.  It made for great discussion as we drove home.  Though it’s not as heavily advertised as other films – the movie is extremely well produced and casted.  During the last scene as the animals gather around the manger- I couldn’t believe that Sony had stolen my idea!  I quickly forgave them because this story needed to be told, especially for children’s ears.  In the last scene there is a sense of deep joy and hope not just in the people as we have come to contemplate this time of year, but in all creation.  If you haven’t gone out to watch it, I encourage you to go and make it a family outing you won’t be disappointed.         

Three More Advent Traditions

Advent has began and with it the opportunity to practice many great traditions.  Here are two that I continue to do each year and a new one that I was just introduced to this year.

Advent Wreath- Yesterday, in RCIA we had our annual Advent wreath competition.  Every year in an attempt to help our students live the time before Christmas in a more meaningful way, we introduce this lovely tradition by hosting a decorating extravaganza.  A week before, we give them the circular candle base and have them take it home to decorate with their families. It’s usually a great success and fun way to get into the Christmas spirit.  I, of course, have adopted this tradition and though sometimes it’s difficult to do every day, we still enjoy doing something meaningful even if sometimes we skip a day or two.

Advent Calendar- Counting the days towards the birth of Christ is another tradition that continues to happen in my home.  It goes along with the Advent wreath and it’s just exciting to visually count down the days until the birth of our Savior.

A Stocking for Jesus- This year I discovered this idea!  It’s involves hanging a stocking especially for Jesus on the mantel, but instead of filling it with material gifts the stocking is filled with spiritual gifts.  Each spiritual gift is a small act of kindness done to another person, “Truly I say to you, as you did it to the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.”   These acts of kindness to others become gifts to Jesus! These little gifts are written down and stuffed in the stocking throughout Advent.

Sometimes, some of the ideas that I come up with are not met with the eagerness that I hope.  Other times I was sure I could have done a better job and on some days these activities might be met with some complaining or an argument – this unpleasantness illustrates that we desperately need a savior and that the message of Christmas is still needed year after year.  I usually use candy bate to encourage participation- it’s always worked (smile).   So, don’t give up.

Advent Activity: What's in a Name?

How did you receive your name?  Did your parents ever tell you the story behind how they chose your name?  Mine is pretty funny because I was almost named after a cow.  In Mexico, we had a farm (with animals of course) and when I was in my mother’s womb she and dad went over the routine process of throwing out names hoping to agree on one to name the babe.  Dad loved the name “Azusena” and put a great fight to have me named thus, but mom wouldn’t hear of naming me after the cow.  My dad loved the named so much that thinking he would no longer bear children (I came seven years after my brother) he baptized the cow.  Then, I came along and though he put a great fight, mom wouldn’t hear of me bearing the same name as the family cow (smile).   Therefore, they decided on Penny a name they both liked. 

As I have studied scripture, I’ve noticed that God gives great meaning to names- many times he even changes peoples’ names to better suit who they are meant to be.  Names are important, so much so that the best compliment you can give another is to learn his name.  During retreat, when I was served my meals one of the sisters would always say my name when she set my plate down and this little gesture made me feel special- like I mattered.  I wasn’t just some random woman on retreat, I was Penny and she called me by name…  

Lion of Judah

For those of us familiar with scripture we know that God has many names, each title has great significance.  One of my favorite prayers is just repeating the name of Jesus.  Sometimes, when I’ve had a bad dream or when I lack words I just repeat his name – it’s a very powerful prayer… 

 Prince of Princes

Son of David

But why am I writing about names this morning?  Advent is almost here, a time of preparation for the birth of Jesus in our hearts.  For Catholics this is a time of many great traditions like the manger scene, the Advent wreathe and calendar, the tree of Jesse among many others.  Every year I like to try a new way to experience the joy of the birth of my savior.  I have become an avid religious ornament collector and in my collecting I came across “The Royal Names of Jesus” ornament series.  The set comes in a little box with an instruction booklet and seven ornaments each bearing a different title for Jesus.  During Advent for seven days as you count down to Christmas you can hang on your tree a different ornament with your family, and read why that name is special to our heavenly King.  Though, Jesus was born in a manger and during his life he had no jeweled crown, royal wardrobe or palace he walked the earth with authority because he is the King and we are his royal subjects; thus, learning his royal names is our duty and our privilege.  This Advent is a great time to learn the seven royal names and the story (meaning) behind and what better way than with these beautiful ornaments which can be purchased online.  Though I found mine in one of my thrifting adventures (smile).  They are quite beautiful made of metal covered in glitter (my fav) so they are sturdy for children and made to last.  Am so looking forward to getting started with my set!

 King of Israel

Lord of Lords