Father is
having this Lenten series and he asked us to write down our own personal stories about
our first encounter with God. And since a
few weeks ago I shared about my romantic journey- today I would like to share
the moment(s) that I knew God was for me.
I told you that science and philosophy pulled me away from my faith and
made me a very suspicious person in matters of religion… So, it’s a bit
difficult for me to talk about my encounters because they all were miraculous
moments that are inexplicable without sounding loony... The day I found my brother in a pool of blood
and raced behind the ambulance to the emergency room- was the most difficult
day of my young life. As I waited, while doctors performed multiple surgeries and tried to
keep him alive- I felt trapped in the waiting room and ran outside into the
parking lot. As the sun shined brightly
I asked God to take him, to stop my brother’s pain- I begged, I bargain and I
prayed like never before. Unable to cry
from the shock I remained sitting on the curb staring at my sneakers and
bloodied clothes, “Lord make his pain stop.
Inflict whatever malady on me, but make his hurt stop.” Immediately, I was embraced by the coolest
wind and as it blew it took away my fears and brought a sense of peace deep within
me. I knew that God had heard me, and I
remained outside on that curb for who knows how long just wrapped in the
arms of His wind.
The doctors
came out and told us that my brother had survived the surgeries, but that he
was in critical condition and the odds of him pulling through were
unlikely. We waited throughout the
night huddled in the small waiting room, the sobs from my mom and my sister made
everything more difficult. That’s when I
read the Book of Job for the first time…
The following day the doctors told us that my brother was in a vegetative
state and that it was our choice whether to pull him off the respirators. The five of us went around casting our votes,
luckily he passed away before we reached a decision. Which was another answered prayer because I had
asked God to decide for us.
After the
funeral our relatives began calling the house to check in on us. As time went by some began asking us to pray
fervently because my brother was probably in a dark place due to the manner in which he
died. This caused a lot of anguish, especially in my mom and I was so angry that instead of helping us their commentary was
making things worse. I tried consoling
my mom, but I too began to doubt. In the
following months I went on my first spiritual retreat, the priest told us to
pray about what we wanted from God. I
remember thinking God please tell me my brother is in a good place. During holy hour as the priest approached me
with the monstrance, I bowed my head and closed my eyes. Then I was walking barefoot on the wet earth in
a long white dress. As I made my way down a corridor of green hedges one of my
hands curiously felt the leaves of the walls.
When I reached the end of the hall I entered a garden room and I saw
Jesus smiling and opening his arms for me to run into- I waited stupefied. Then Jesus took a few steps towards me and
behind him in a royal cape and with a crown on his head was my
brother. I ran and wrapped my arms around
him, and then I was sandwiched in an embrace between Jesus and my brother. As I came back into the reality of the
retreat room I was on the floor and tears were running down my face. Since he passed I had not been able to cry-
that night my healing began.
The vision
sounds quite unbelievable – but God’s ways have a humbling effect on us.
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