Building Trust

A couple nights ago my sleep was interrupted when a thunderstorm hit and my dog’s anxiety kept me up until the prescribed sedative I give him (on nights like this) takes effect.  His body was tense and shaking and I went over to him and wrapped him in my arms and talked to him softly assuring him that everything was alright.  He slid his little head into my arms still not quite convinced, but happy to have me awake to confront the terrors of the storm together… He has such faith in me.  When we go for walks where I lead him he follows – he’s just certain that I will never harm him and always trusts me.  Trust in all relationships is crucial.  As friendships grow so does trust in each other, the more trust we build the closer two people become.  Yet, it’s not as easy initially for us humans to build that trust especially when hurt is involved.  Usually when we are hurt we recoil and withdraw as a protective mechanism. 

Praying for you.

I like to think that I am in this world to love, that life is God’s Love University for all of us.  My life philosophy is to love one another as He first loved me.  Yet, I am imperfect in loving and when I am hurt it takes a little time before I can trust again.  The thing is I don’t want an ambiguous relationship I want to know my beloved and be known by him- but learning to trust after a deep hurt is hard.  That’s why trust needs to be accompanied by love and forgiveness.  I love people easily, but falling in (romantic) love should and takes a little more time and effort by both parties.  There are so many variables like the pace of the relationship from acquaintance, friendship, courting, engagement, to marriage.  And growing deeper in a relationship requires a bit of courage, discernment, prayer, a lot of trust and lots of forgiveness.  My one weakness is that I am not perfect (smile), but I am trying to live a virtuous life and looking for a partner in crime.  I know we will unintentionally hurt each other a lot, but I know that our happiness will be greater.

It all begins with trust and trust is something that needs to be earned slowly as our friendship grows.  Building trust in relationships requires a lot of elements below are five that I think are essential.

Being Able to Keep Things Private:  Knowing that details that happen between the two will not be broadcasted to friends, family, social media, etc. is key to building trust. 

Reliability: Being able to rely on one another is crucial to the health of the relationship.  We are creatures of community who need one another for survival.  This not only builds security, but also expresses dedication to the beloved.

Honesty/ Sharing: Share your needs, values and desires and listen to your partner’s.  Communication is essential and though at first it might be atrocious- if you guys are honest and practice it will improve.    

Growth:  Water that remains stagnant rots and relationships that never move forward have the same destiny.  We are made for conversion to strive every day to be better versions of ourselves.  If both people are working on self-improvement the relationship should also flourish and grow in intimacy.

Predictability: Children thrive on routine and stability, I do too.  I like to know how my beloved thinks, what keeps him happy and how he reacts to life’s trials.  That enables me to better serve and love him.  

There’s many other elements to build trust in relationships, the above are just a few examples.  The beauty is that we are all works in progress and as we build each other up things will get better.  It’s also essential to believe the best in the beloved and to trust first in God.  With God’s help anything is possible (smile).