Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Dating Introverts Part Two

Continued... 
Notice Them: While some introverts have difficulty expressing themselves in words or telling a girl straight out that they like her and are interested – they are great at doing it through actions.  Learn to accept and understand their way of showing it.  Affirm their attempts- this lets him know that you accept his quiet nature.  If you send him five texts and he only responds to one, know that a lot of data coming in for him is overwhelming.  Recently for the birthday of a man I am interested in, I sent him a really sweet text and a Facebook message wishing him a happy birthday and he only responded to the Facebook message and later he did something super awesome that I had asked him to.  Yet, it took me awhile to understand that his actions were how he was responding to my text.  In my mind I felt raw like I had declared my feelings and he just ignored them- until I learned that perhaps it was just part of different communication styles.

Conflict Makes Them Withdraw: When I am angry or depressed I like to be on my own.  If I am really upset I will give you the silent treatment- until I have reflected on the issue and am ready to act accordingly.  We generally don't like drama or to have screaming matches.  We don't like to talk it through right away not until we can do it without shouting and we have reflected carefully on the problem causing the disagreement.   
Realistic Expectations: My friend shared that he has found that most women have unrealistic expectations about their future spouse.  They think he’s going to arrive on a white horse no longer just charming, but with a great job.  While Catholic men understand they have the pressure of the breadwinner role in the relationship, women need to realize that men can lose their job at any time.  Thus, don’t love men based on their current employment.

Socially: Large parties usually overwhelm us, but once in awhile we can enjoy them.  Thus, we prefer smaller group activities with people we know.  Yet, for the most part we like spending time just with the beloved doing low key activities.    

The above along with yesterday’s post deals with challenges and the way that (some) introverts deal with the dating process.  One can conclude that we are no very good at it- but for the right person we are willing to face our struggles because though we love our alone time we also love people and have a great desire to find our one-and-only.  We might require a little more time to heal between relationships and simple infatuations too, but if we fall for you know that you are the only one that we want.  We are faithful from the moment that we feel a strong attachment to you- we see no one else, but you.    

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