Dating Someone With Bipolar Disorder

In my mid-twenties, I heard voices and saw encrypted messages in writing… It happened soon after the death of my brother and the end of my first romantic relationship.  For a time I thought that I was Schizophrenic, later I found out that it was a side effect of two medications that shouldn’t have been prescribed together combined with the trauma of my loss.  After the voices left, for quite a long period of time, I needed my loved ones to help me distinguish between reality and the fictitious thoughts my mind was still processing.  It took over a year to regain my sanity and to no longer require the aid of my family to discern between reality and my illness.  The voices in my head told me that they were the trinity- so I had the three persons of God giving me messages.  Each person had its own personality: one was mean, one condemning and the other was judgmental, but a little kinder.  When I realized that the voices I was hearing were a product of my disorder- I asked God to never speak to me through voices in my head.  He has kept His promise.  The above illustrates challenges we bipolar people have... Since us bipolar survivors have that sensitivity to misread and misinterpret behaviors and messages it’s a bit more difficult for us to read signs coming from the opposite sex.  Thus, if you find yourself attracted and want to begin a relationship with someone with a mental disability I think it’s important for you to understand how the disorder affects each person.  The following are examples of what I have found helpful.

Be clear.  Don’t send encrypted messages, tell her how you feel honestly and plainly.  It’s harder for us to read signs because we are so sensitive to the data our brain processes.

Be patient.   We are emotional beings and seasons, aromas, hormones- changes- affect us differently.  We have more high and lows than the average person, but for the most part with treatment and God we try to be positive and constant.

Educate yourself about the illness.  Just like you would study her likes and dislikes learn a little more about how the disorder affects people and her in particular.

Accept her when she’s down like when she’s happy.  I noticed that for the most part of the month I am a pretty static, positive person; but, around my womanly days I tend to get either irritable or depressed and my sleeping patterns fluctuate.  It’s also during those times that I feel more manic or depressive depending on the month.  And socializing is more difficult.

Understand that we need sleep, rest and consistency. Sleep helps our brain stay balanced and calms our thoughts.  During depressive moods we usually need more rest- sometimes even naps during the day help with the added fatigue.  Thus, letting us rest and accepting our lower activity times is crucial.  We are not being lazy our bodies just demand rest.

Know that routine makes us thrive.  Having somewhat of a routine makes us content.  I enjoy knowing what I am going to do each day, having a schedule makes me more likely to accomplish things than to wake-up without a plan of the day.

Never lose hope in her.  Though sometimes she might go as dark as the night for a day- the sun will come out tomorrow.  I know that my faith is teaching me to be less motivated by my emotions and to act on truth.  I am now less likely to allow myself to go into a long deep depression.  Now I fight it, with God and usually my low periods are short and scarce.

A friend told me to keep my disorder private for I would scare men away with the revelation, but if there is one thing I try to be is honest.  I have bipolar- yet that is only a miniscule characteristic of who I am, above all I am a daughter of the highest King and He is constantly supplying me with tools to overcome my weaknesses.  Besides secrets usually hold too much power and unveiling these struggles not only help reduce the power they hold over me, but hopefully help others who are  battling with similar issues.