My Love of Scripture

God is always trying to get our attention.  When I was an agnostic I fell for a Christian.  He was the first person that I had ever met with a relationship with Jesus so strong that as much as I was in awe of it, it was also a bit challenging to digest.  He talked about Jesus as if Jesus was a real person and his faith as if it was the most important part of his life.  A few months after starting our relationship I was going away on a trip- which would be our first time apart.  We went out to dinner and he said, “I have a gift for you, I want you to open it at home when you are alone.”  I was excited by the surprise and rushed home to open the beautifully wrapped present thinking of what it could be.  When I opened it there in my hands laid a Bible.  I was both intrigued and insulted – on the corner of the Bible engraved in silver letters was my name and inside a dedication he had written. Though I could see the sentimentality of the gift and appreciated all the thought that went into this gift- I was agnostic and I thought “I am never going to read this.”  Thus, I stored it in my book shelve, there to remain until the day I needed it.

Some of my Bibles

The day my brother took his life, as I rushed to the ER I picked up that book without thinking.  Something inspired me to grab that Bible as I made my way to the hospital.  As I saw my family devastated in the waiting room I felt impotent, unable to wipe their tears.  Then I remembered the Bible that was in my purse and I took it out and said, “God, if you are real give me the words to comfort my family.”  I opened the Bible and began reading on the page where it fell opened to.  It was the first page of the story of Job.  I devoured that book and at its conclusion I knew that suffering could be redeemed by God.  That not one tear was wasted because God would turn our sadness into something good.  I understood that my brother’s suffering had meaning and purpose.  That my family and I could get through this darkness. 

The words in the pages of a rejected Bible gave me hope and I wanted more.  Thus, I started not only to read it, but I also started going to Mass and paying attention to each reading - each hymn.  And those holy words nurtured me back to life.  After the Book of Job I read Ecclesiastes and the Psalms and I remembered how much I identified with the suffering- but I also began to see hope.  I remembered that during Mass I would sob when I heard the readings because the words penetrated my soul, they broke down the walls that I had built against religion and against God.  I’ve always been moved by words- from a very young age I felt goosebumps when I heard poetry or read a good story- but never had I allowed myself to experience Sacred Scripture.  The relationship with the person who gave me the Bible didn’t last, but he came into my life to introduce me to my favorite book, the holy Bible.  That first Bible is now falling apart from the regular use of those early days of my initial conversion, but I am not...  God is always calling us to Him wanting us to allow Him to work in our lives and even when we are stubborn and don’t want anything to do with Him, He continues to reach out.  A gift that I was uncomfortable, ashamed and thought I would never use was how God penetrated my soul.  Looking back I see so many times when God called my name and I refused to hear Him; but, He persisted and that makes me so happy.  Usually when I continue to get rejected I give up- but God, He always seeks us with a love that overpowers pride.

The one I use mostly now.

That first Bible began my love of scripture.  Yesterday, I gave a lesson on the Bible to my RCIA class and I shared my intro to the Bible through a gift that I thought I would never use.  I also showed them my growing collection of Bibles.  Today, I lead a bilingual life and have a great English/Spanish Bible that makes it easy to be multi-cultural (smile).