Practice Makes Perfect

Last week Pope Francis gave the general audience a book recommendation, which I immediately ordered because it’s his favorite novel!  It arrived a couple days ago and now a third way into the book I realize that most everything in life requires patience. Men have to patient with “a lady’s imagination (which) is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”  Women are usually heavily directed by their hearts (emotions) and men are more led by reason.  There’s a big difference between men and women- and as Pope Francis states when two unite in holy matrimony it’s a miracle!  God made male and female to complement each other, but we are almost a different species in the manner we perceive and live in the world- luckily for us He provides godly advice on how to overcome obstacles and succeed in forming lasting relationships.  God tells us, the man will lead and the woman will be his helper.  Thus, men need to develop good leadership skills and women need to work on submission – which are both quite difficult virtues.  Yet, like in acquiring any other skill in order to grow we need practice.  Practice makes perfect the old saying goes.  There's this great scene in the 2005 adaptation of "Pride and Prejudice" where Darcy expresses his difficulty conversing with people he doesn't know well and Elizabeth tells him that playing the pianoforte doesn't come natural to her, but through practice anyone can excel.  

Children usually have a better understanding in these matters of picking up new habits.  They are more open to being taught, to asking questions, to asking for help when they don't understand how to do things and to practice.  I once read a story about a little girl who needed to learn to thread a needle to get a badge for her girl scout vest.  The father witnessed the struggles his little girl was having trying to put the thread through the eye of the needle, at times she got frustrated at other times she pricked her fingers.  The father wanted to intervene, to help her, but he knew that if his little girl accomplished the task she would gain her badge; but more importantly confidence in herself and she would be a better version of herself too.  In the same way God can intervene and do all things for us, but I think like the father of the little girl scout He's more concerned with our growth because He knows that eventually with enough practice we will achieve and mature (smile). So have patience with yourself and don't be afraid to practice until the challenge becomes a new strength.

For men initiating is a common weakness, but I have been thinking that it's scary because they think that it's something they need to do on their own.  But, God tells us that He created woman to be a helper to the man.  Thus, initiating takes two.  As women we need to encourage through word and action- we need to be approachable, welcoming, patient, kind and to understand that initially things will be confusing, messy and hard.  Especially if it's a struggle for both people to develop (and keep going) a conversation with someone they don't know well.  Yet, practice makes perfect and if the relationship flourishes working together is something that needs to be learned and mastered.  It's a matter of team work. I think we also need to reexamine what pursuing means, most Christian women think that men need to do all the work, but I think it's a matter of two.  If I see the object of my affections subtlety trying, it's OK for me to help.  This wont violate our godly roles because God says women help your men.  The objective in a matter of two is to develop a sort of team where both genders have roles and jobs to do.  I think that sometimes women are told in a very oblivious way that we must be pursued; thus, we develop this mindset that we must do nothing just look pretty and pray.  Yet, that seems contrary to our Catholic faith.  If we are told to "feed the hungry, clothe the naked, shelter strangers, visit prisoners..." that implies active work and assistance always.  Thus, women if you find yourself waiting to be pursued ask God what you can do to encourage and to be a helper to that man you are waiting to make a move, because if you care about him and want to build a successful foundation for love to grow- then both (people) need to develop a team mentality. You both are on the same team (God's team) that makes you immediate allies (SMILE). So go and be good helpers!