It’s easy to lose heart during this time because we are a
country used to living on the go. Thus,
for many (myself included) the changing pace of quarantine at times can be extremely
challenging. Restrictions on employment,
education, religious life - even our social life have changed the way we live. I think I have voiced my frustration with
teaching virtually and how I miss church life.
Sometimes, I can get easily discouraged especially when I read the news
about all the chaos happening within our country. At times, I can get stuck thinking my
experience of quarantine is universal, but when I check in with my students and
discover that they are not working on their school work because they are trying
to help parents who have been laid off due to Covid-19 earn a living or when I
check in with my fraternity and discover that many of the elderly members who
live alone are struggling with loneliness – I realize that some have it worse
than me. It’s easy to complain, to see
the flaws and focus so much on struggle the that we miss those hurting worse
than me.
I love words and I have a verse written on the wall of my
room, “Be still and know that I am God.”
Every morning it’s the first thing I see, but I think the familiarity made
it almost invisible for some time. Recently,
I woke up and was feeling restless from being cooped at a home too much and I looked
at the verse on my wall and this lightbulb went off in my head and I realize
that I needed to live by those words during this quarantine. In this country activity is glorified. We are always on the go and something out of
our control is telling us to slow down and be still. Many Americans have trouble with slowing
down, I mean I just have to cross the south border and already in Mexico I feel
a difference in pace. This time though,
I am being asked to slow down in my own home and for someone usually on the go
it hasn’t been without its moments of restlessness.
Yesterday, as I sat on my porch with my dad, mom and Francis
waiting for everyone else to get home from work (our usual daily ritual) I
realized that one of my dreams is to retire to live in a farm. On this afternoon that slower pace of farm life
that inspired this dream felt utterly boring.
I was thinking maybe, this is the way I will feel if I live away in
seclusion (smile). In seconds, I almost
discarded my dream for the noise and the activity of city life! That’s when it hit me - how condition I am to
the hustle and bustle and how much I need to contemplate and really discover
the beauty of what draws me to the verse, “be still and know that I am God.” All this time, its meaning was that in order
to be utterly present with God (in prayer) I needed to be still, but now I see
that God is asking me not just to be quiet when I pray, but to live in
stillness. To have peace and tranquility – to be still always, especially in
moments when I have more time to sit and reflect.
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