Saturday, January 18, 2020

Teaching with Severe Anxiety


I am constantly amazed by how God works in our lives.  During the period that I was laid off, I watched a documentary, “Girls Incarcerated,” a series that follows teenage girls locked up in American correctional facilities.  One of the things that stood out from the series was that credentialed teachers worked with the teens to help them continue their education while in the facility.  Teachers only had four or five students in the classroom at a time and most of the instruction was small group classes and independent study.  As someone who was thinking of getting back into education, I started considering non-traditional ways of teaching as perhaps being best for me being bipolar.  Thus, I started applying at correctional facilities and continuation schools and one day I sent my resume to the charter that I am currently at and the rest is providential history.
The school where I work at, I see about eight students each hour and provide guidance, tutoring and instruction on a one-on-one basis.  I check in with each, help them with assignments and test them on units that they complete. Thus, I work with all grades and subject matter throughout the day.  Each semester the school offers traditional classes for students that struggle or will benefit from direct instruction.  This semester I am teaching three two-hour long eleventh grade traditional English classes.  Though I love teaching and being in front of the classroom sharing my passion with others- I struggle with big time anxiety every time that I have to be in front of a classroom.  I think it’s the reason that I left education ten years ago.  This week each day that I had to deliver the lesson I almost peed my pants, but as the week came to a close, I realized how much God has been acting in my life!

The whole structure of my job has made being a teacher for someone with severe anxiety to do something that I love even with my disability.  Only three times a week I get to deal with severe anxiety attacks and I am learning how to reduce the stress.  The fact that my classroom size is small when compared to a traditional school and that I have so much support staff to help me has helped in reducing the stress.  Also, prayer this semester I have dedicated my job to Our Lady of Prompt Succor, I constantly ask for her intercession.  In addition to praying for each of my students and the goals that I want to achieve.  I am still working on learning more strategies to reduce the anxiety before delivering a lesson in a traditional classroom setting, yet I thank God constantly for placing me in a school so fitted for someone with bipolar.   

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