Change

Sorry if I have neglected you.  My life finally begins to settle – all the changes are finally beginning to feel like my new norm.  Last week I stopped by the mission basilica to pray before work (a new habit) and something clicked inside me and I knew that from that moment, I could relax and enjoy all the changes.  That statement might sound weird, but I have a tendency to deal with change by trying to control it or by focusing on it so much that everything else becomes secondary.  These past months my emphasis had been in trying to get used to all the changes and everything else was slightly neglected.  Yet, after working really hard on my new transition, I feel ready to start giving attention to everything and everyone else.  

I was speaking to my sister about this, because I haven’t taken my nephew out or paid much attention to him during these past months.  In a way I have been quite self-involved in trying to just survive all the changes.  Though, I have shared how challenging I find change, only my close friends and family understand my struggle.  They know that if I have too many things going on in my life I withdraw because I focus all of my energy on that one variable.  I am an introvert and during change all of my energy is spent trying to deal with that – so much so, that I have the tendency to forget everything and everyone else.  My parents notice when I am overwhelmed by change because even at home, I tend to keep to myself.

Eventually a day comes, when change is no longer new it just turns into your regular life.  It’s taken me a few months to reach this state, to begin to feel like I have succeeded in managing the transitions and I am looking forward to slowly making time for all those I have neglected.  My parents checked in on me earlier in the week and I told them that it’s ok for them to show more interest when I am distant.  When I am distracted or rather trying to adjust to the new, it’s nice having people knowing I am missed. (smile)