Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Mexican Funerals Rich in Tradition

Last Wednesday, my cousin lost his wife to cancer.  As I sat in his home surrounded by family and friends I realized how fortunate I am to be part of such a caring culture and family.  In the small town in Mexico where I was born death is celebrated in a very positive, nurturing and Catholic way.  It begins with friends and relatives immediately going over to the one left behind to give our condolences or pésame.  The pésame is always done in person and holds a lot of significance and is unique to the Mexican culture.  It literally translates to your loss weighs on me too and I am here to help you carry it.  My cousin’s small house was full of people in mourning if it weren’t for the somber atmosphere it could have been mistaken for a party.  Once the house was pretty full we started a rosary for the soul of the departed and after shared hot chocolate and pan dulce

As I sat getting my rosary ready for prayer I recalled traditions we used to follow in Mexico as a sign of respect for both the deceased and the family. We would go through a period of deep mourning or luto. During this period of luto we wouldn’t watch TV or turn the radio on, we would wear black for forty days and avoid parties as an alliance of mutual mourning – we also followed these rituals during Good Friday of Lent.  It’s almost as if we united in grief with these outward actions and paid tribute to the deep void left by the departed.  The day after the velorio (the wake) and burial we begin the novenario (the novena) at the house of the one closest in kinship to the deceased.  For nine days we will visit my cousin and show our support by uniting to pray the rosary.
The Power of Prayer...

Maybe I am biased because traditionally the above is how I am used to celebrating deaths, but I really see a lot of goodness, giving and sacrifice in our way of dealing with death.  God created us to live in community and what better way to unite than in the hardest of times.  It requires a lot of giving and self-sacrifice to leave one’s duties and be present to give our pésame, to attend the wake, the burial and to commit to a nine day prayer in another person’s home.  It’s physically taxing for both parties, but oh so good for the soul.  Especially during the firsts days of loss to see how the life of your loved one touched so many and to feel the love of your family and friends it’s an experience that one never forgets.  My cousin expressed how grateful he has been to not have to face this alone, to be distracted while he attempts to come to terms with his loss and I totally understand.  There’s nothing one can do to lessen the pain of loss, but one’s silent presence always helps lift a little.     
         

Monday, April 28, 2014

Spring Fashion Tendencies

Leggings, Maxi dresses & Stripes

Every year women are bombarded with the new fashion trends for the upcoming season.  This coming spring and summer: crop tops, cutout- jeans, sheer dresses and t-shirts with slogans are some of the leading tendencies for the warm seasons.  What is a Catholic-fashion-loving girl to do to remain true to her faith yet embrace her love for things pretty and feminine?  Living ten minutes away from the beach in a city that is warm almost year round and so close to Hollywood everywhere I look I see creative people embracing the changing trends.   Girls in short (and I mean short) shorts, tiny tops, tight dresses, revealing necklines are a dime a dozen.  Yet, my mother taught me better! 
Embellishments like beads and feathers are really popular.

Betsey Johnson Statement Necklace

As a Christian woman I also have a higher calling I am the daughter of the King of Kings and holding a position of spiritual royalty means that all of me including my exterior needs to reflect my conversion.  Does that mean that I can’t follow the trends or that I need to choose plain, boxy, lose and long clothes that hide my body?  Absolutely not!  Belonging to Jesus is not an exclusion from living and experiencing everyday life it’s an invitation to take Him everywhere that I go and to share His love with others.  Dressing as a person that is loved by the King requires thoughtful creativity (smile).  Not all trends will coincide with my modesty guidelines, but am a firm believer that I can still dress fashionably without compromising my spirituality.

Stripes are so in.

On this post are a few examples of outfits appropriate for godly women that incorporate some of the leading trends for this warm weather and that take into account some of the more wearable tendencies like stripes, lace, full skirts, statement necklaces, embellishments- even leggings!  I think the key is to find classic staples and incorporate one or two trendy pieces to liven the outfit and to express your unique personality.  It’s all about finding balance between the physical world and the spiritual because we are human beings alive and momentarily belonging to both spheres (smile).   

   

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Softball & Overcoming Anxiety

One morning early last week I was deciding how to continue motivating myself to lose weight; I was seriously pondering the idea of joining a ballroom dance class so that item twenty-three of my 33 before 34 could be crossed off when I got an unexpected email from my best friend.  She asked me very nonchalantly if I might be interested in joining a softball team.  At first, the idea didn’t really appeal to me since memories from my former teenage athletic self, recalled my inability to hit a ball with a bat.  Yet, I later found out that a group of my coworkers had started the company team and they needed one more person to be complete.  In an impulsive moment I accepted the challenge and signed up.  Miracles still happened in these modern times because during our first day of practice I manage to hit almost every ball that was pitched to me--- with a BAT!  I couldn’t hide my joy nor my shock.  Now my hope is that it won’t be a one-time occurrence, but that I will manage to hit the ball on game day too (smile).  Tonight is our first game under the City of Irvine Softball League so prayers are welcomed.
Number 33 for Jesus

I love getting older, I am more comfortable with myself and more daring.  As a young person who suffered from untreated social anxiety I never really took risks- most of the time I was hiding and making excuses to avoid people.  Now, after some years in therapy and stability on medication I surprise myself.  Little accomplishments like joining a softball team (while knowing from past experiences that I couldn’t hit a ball) make me so exceedingly grateful.  While for most people there’s nothing grand about trying new things those who suffer from anxiety understand the nervousness of new things can be crippling.  Sometimes the fear of new situations can be so overwhelming that many sufferers avoid leaving the comfort of their established routine in order to avoid those unpleasant feelings.  Therefore, it’s fitting that variations of Do not be afraid are mentioned in the Bible more than three-hundred times.  God knew that we would need to be reminded again and again (some of us a little more than others) that if God is for us who can be against us?  Thus, through the grace of God and the doctors He provided I am becoming quite a fearless woman (smile).
Let the games begin.

Life is beautiful, especially for those of us who suffer from anxiety and rise above it!  We who face the hardships of our dark struggle are humbled by His continuous deliverance.  I am able to appreciate God more and my dependence in Him strengthens knowing that I need His ever present power every single day. Amen!  I am learning to love my weaknesses because they are the areas in which the Holy Spirit is most present and most obliging (smile).  As time goes by these weaknesses and struggles are redeemed and healing continues to occur giving me more peace and strength to live to the best of my abilities.  Everything in me is made new: “This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person.  The old is gone; a new life has began!” (smile) 

We Didn't Lose We Just Ran Out of Time

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Wives Submit to Your Husbands

At the Renaissance Faire

In my rebel days, I had a discussion with my ex-boyfriend about what he wanted in a wife.  He immediately quoted Ephesians, “wives be submissive to your own husband...”  Instantaneously my entire body cringed and I knew that our relationship was doomed because he wanted a woman he could rule over.  I couldn’t get past the word “submissive” which translated to becoming a slave and rendering my power to my spouse.  His dated patriarchal mentality offended the feminist growing in me…  Recently in Catholic circles the topic of women ordination has gathered a lot of momentum and I noticed that because the church has denied women that honor there has been a lot of misunderstanding surrounding the role of women within the Catholic Church.  Some have gone as far as to think that God doesn’t value or love women with the same depth He does men.  Like the former me, people fail to see the entirety and goodness of God's plans for gender roles. 
We found Jesus!
From the story of creation and throughout the entire Bible, we come to see God as a God of order.  When He created Eve He did so to provide a companion for man and to bring happiness to both.  As we travel forward in time many women play important roles in preparing the way for Jesus and when Jesus takes center stage He shows us the special place women have in the faith.  During His ministry He does preach about women being submissive to their husbands, but that statement continues to husbands love your wives as Christ also love the church.  Jesus loved us so much that He died on the cross and that’s what He is telling men they must be prepared to do for their wives.  He gives clear and definitive instruction to both male and female.  Yet, He does make the man the leader, but only because within a family unit there must be one person that takes the lead for the sake and progression of the relationship.  Just think of that romantic, indecisive date you have been on where he asks you, “were do you want to go eat” and you answer “I don’t know where do you want to go.”  This exchange continues back-and-forth until one of you taking the lead decides where the two of you will be having dinner.  Decisions must be made, leaders must exist and He gave man that role, yet throughout history men have violated that right.
Great shows!

Today, submissiveness has a negative even antiquated connotation because of the past violations against women, but God intended it to be beautiful.  He says that the husband is the head of the wife, but God gives clear indications of how the husband must love his spouse.  The husband’s role is equally challenging for he must love his wife as he loves himself working towards her betterment and her sanctification.  The husband must follow Christ and be like Christ in the marriage.  When both men and women follow the well-established plans of God, submissiveness comes naturally out of love and respect for our beloved (smile).    
My girls!

Monday, April 21, 2014

Heaven is for Real Movie Review

Part of my Easter morning was unexpectedly spent at the cancer ward of UCI Medical Hospital visiting my cousin whose wife is getting ready to depart home.  I sat in silence knowing that none of my words would help alleviate his pain and remembering how death always feels so miserably unnatural.  Memories of my first experience with loss flooded my mind.  It’s been ten years since my brother left us and though now I bear it - the scar will never lose its sensitivity until we meet again…  People kept arriving in Easter attire to accompany my cousin and to pray over his wife.  As I sat forgotten in a corner of the waiting room I gave thanks to God for we are so fortunate to live in post-Christ times.  We have the truth of heaven and the knowledge that death has been beaten on the cross.  Christ is our passage home.  What better day to be reminded of this monumental truth than on Resurrection Day.  Thus, before I left the hospital I reminded my cousin of the truth of heaven and life after death hoping that it would give him the solace that it had given me the day I was forced to say farewell to my brother.
My Easter attire.


On Friday, my sister and I watched Heaven is for Real and while it dealt with the mystery of life- after-death and offered great hope I didn’t really enjoy the film.  The movie is based on the real life account of a four-year-old boy, Connor, who has a near death experience and travels to heaven.  He returns to the world and shares his experience with his father.  While the details of heaven offered by Connor are beautiful (I especially enjoyed learning that animals are also present in heaven (smile)) the way the film depicts Pastor Burpo’s obsession and even exploitation of his son’s personal encounter really bothered me.  Moments after Connor privately shares some details of his celestial journey with his father, Burpo approves a press interview and the little boy’s experience becomes broadcasted to the entire town.  The acting is stronger than your typical faith based film, but the storyline is super cheesy.  Most of the film’s transitions are forced especially the issue questioning the credibility of Colton’s experience to a sudden conversion by the entire congregation.  A simple Burpo speech during a press filled Sunday service makes believers of all including the atheist psychologist.  I really wanted to like this film, but as someone who has not read the book I thought it would be more about heaven or even more about Connor- but it turned out into a story about Pastor Burpo taking a beautiful experience and using it to his advantage.  As the film closed presenting a picture of Jesus with green eyes and hippie highlighted hair and claiming that, that’s what Jesus really looks like it was too much...  Though, on a positive note, it’s great seeing more faith-based films making it to the box office (smile).
Easter Vigil

The Catholic Church in Orange County welcomed over 1000 new believers this Easter.

The issue of heaven and life after death is what brought me to the feet of God.  It’s what caused my initial adult conversion and prompted my return to the Catholic Church and that might make me an uncompromising critic on the topic.  As I mature and my life continues to experience loss it is heaven that motivates and inspires hope.  Knowing that every time one of my loved one’s departs the angels throw a party at their arrival in heaven and resting in the promise that because of Jesus I will see them again always uplifts me.  Heaven is for real I just need to look at the cross to know so.  Praise be to God!



Thursday, April 17, 2014

Creativity in the Catholic Church

Jesus said that He had to leave in order for His Spirit to come to us, “But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.”  Not only did God become man to offer us salvation He also told us that along our journey home He would be with us always!  Now some people who have perused the Catholic faith from a distance (usually the younger generation) have shared with me that they find godly things boring.  To them I say, how can a God who created the universe with such imagination and attention to detail be boring?  As if wasn’t enough to be surrounded by all this natural beauty, He left us the greatest legacy: His Holy Spirit.  Pope Francis said that the Holy Spirit is extremely creative, and while the traditions of the Catholic Church will forever remain authentic the Holy Spirit inspires us to use our imaginations in our efforts to reach others for Christ. 

A few weeks ago I saw a video of religious sister participating in Italy’s The Voice.  The show is a reality television singing competition that begins with blind additions.  The coaches (judges) are turned away from the contestant and if they like what they hear they press a button that turns their seats and simultaneously casts their vote in favor of the participant.  As the judges turned in their seats and saw Sister Cristina singing “No One” their stupefied reactions - simply priceless.  The video of this singing nun has become an internet sensation.  As the judges pressed her with questions like: whether she was a real sister, what she was doing on a secular show and finally if the Holy Father knew she was on television.  She joyfully said that she was just following orders to evangelize, that she was sharing her gift with the world and she hoped that she would get a call from the Pope (smile).  Sister Cristina has garner a lot attention simply following the creative power of the Holy Spirit.  She also mentioned in an interview days after the show that many people had written to her sharing that she motivated them to return to the faith, to pray more and to see faith differently. 

My creative Easter Nails!

Goodness and everything authentic tends to spread and God challenges us to use our gifts for Him and the Kingdom.  If holy things appear boring, God is not to blame it’s us who haven’t tapped into our creativity that are lacking, for “Jesus can also break through the dull categories with which we would enclose Him and He constantly amazes us by His divine creativity. Whenever we make the effort to return to the source and to recover the original freshness of the Gospel, new avenues arise, new paths of creativity open up, with different forms of expression, more eloquent signs and words with new meaning for today’s world.”  The saints knew that God appreciates variety and innovation look at the many different religious orders that have won millions of souls for Christ.  Though the TRUTH never changes the methods can be modified especially to reach a falling young generation.  There’s a lot of work to do, how is God calling you to assist Him?    


Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Giving up Netflix Changed My Life

It’s important to have a grateful spirit.  To look at life and everything in it as a gift from God.  This Lenten time away from Netflix I am so thankful for books and the easy access (I have) to periodicals and all types of writings.  These past forty days I have read an abundance of literature on the saints, the Pope’s Exhortation, Christian spirituality and just plain fun pieces.  I have learned a great deal, but most importantly have gotten to know God deeper…  In the past I never really understood the power of fasting and abstinence nor the fruits that come from such a sacrifice.  This is the first Lent (since my conversion) that I seriously observed in true Catholic form.  I learned the power of following the traditions of the Catholic Church. You see, our church is very wise in offering us simple ways to celebrate the different times in Jesus’ life.  However, sometimes the simple ways get so diluted and distorted that no fruits are produced and instead of blaming ourselves for our inadequacy we blame the church and its "old ways."

I never understood fasting until this year.  Giving up Netflix really changed my life!  I never imagined that abstaining from awesome BBC Television Series would teach me the true meaning and effects of a fast done right (smile).  It was a struggle, especially because during the forty days I went through a depressive phase where I had very little energy to do anything at all.  Many days I almost fell into the temptation of watching a show thinking that breaking the fast wouldn’t hurt a soul; but, instead I offered my sacrifice for various intentions and occupied my time following my Lenten plan.  As I look back now, with still a few days remaining, I know that my small penance in addition to my dedication to prayer and almsgiving really brought transformation.  I learned that fasting without prayer doesn’t work!  That in ordered to reap the rewards of the Lenten Season I need to follow the ritual as the Catholic Church instructs me.  If I follow the indications of the church (in fasting, praying and almsgiving) then I am inviting Jesus to remain in me- to occupy more of me and I am allowing the change that is occurring in me to affect my community.  This happened to my seven-year-old nephew, he joined me in my Lenten lifestyle and he began to want more of God too!
Spending time at the Library and used Book Store....


This discipline of fasting and abstinence really inspired my faith, my prayer life increased and I am so looking forward to Easter!  It helped me realize that though it takes tremendous discipline - taming the body is possible.  That fasting and abstinence quiets the body so that our minds can open up to the realities of the spiritual realm…  In the pains of wanting to satisfy my thirst with a cold Coka-Cola I understood that I have the self-control to give up unhealthy foods.  This discovery motivated my desire to shed weight and I grasped that I can temporarily hurt for the betterment of self.  These past six weeks have been a time of such blessings and all because I followed the wisdom of my church.  During my prayer sessions, God spoke to me personally and gave me the strength to press on.  I realized that change can be good and that we always have areas that need more of God and thus more conversion!

Monday, April 14, 2014

Palm Sunday

Holy week begins marking the final week of the Season of Lent and also recounts the final days of the life of Christ as well as His death and resurrection.  I love Palm Sunday and the way the Catholic Church celebrates Jesus’ triumphant entrance into Jerusalem.  This year Father decorated the church’s entry and path towards the altar with giant palm branches.  The decorated walk really helped transport the community to a beautiful day over two-thousand years when people honored Jesus as King.
The next day the great crowd that had come for the festival heard that Jesus was on his way to Jerusalem. They took palm branches and went out to meet him, shouting: “Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Blessed is the king of Israel!” John 12:12-13   

This Palm Sunday was really special because my nephew decided that he wanted to go to Mass and once we left the service he declared he wanted to come back every Sunday!  As you might recall, part of my Lenten plan included creating time to spend with my family.  During the past forty days I began a prayer series with my little man and also a time of evangelization.  Though we did miss quite a few days of prayer and learning- the time we did spend really helped him understand and appreciate our faith more.  Before our Lenten study, he thought all things godly translated into boring, but thanks to the Berenstain Bears this year his mind was transformed.  It was truly amazing to see the change in his character and his desire to pray more.  In fact, every day he reminded me that it was time to pray and when we missed prayer days it was really my fault.  During Mass on Sunday he was really trying to participate in all the celebration following the Missal and repeating the prayers.  He left with a palm branch and seriously contemplating a safe place to store it (smile).


His surprising transformation from a child who associated the faith with boredom to one who was drawn deep into the Spirit of God really helped me understand how we are all attracted to goodness (smile).  It also confirmed that Lent is a time to fast and in doing so produce fruits that have life changing effects.   
       

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Come to Me all Who are Weary

Once a year my therapist and I complete an annual care plan.  It begins with an assessment of how well I achieved the goals we set for the previous year.  After looking at my accomplishments or lack thereof we create a new plan to continue my healing and progress to a more self-sufficient state (meaning no more therapy only an occasional visit with the psychiatrist for my meds).  It’s a difficult task to look at one’s brokenness in the company of another person and this week that’s just what I did with my therapist.  Together we took a critical view at my life and dug into my most private struggles.  As we talked about chronic fatigue, my weight, spending money, impulsivity, among other more confidential issues I felt like a total weirdo.  We talked about simple things like hygiene, diet and exercise and how doing simple things require so much effort most of the time.  We named the barriers that come with bipolar disorder like depression, anxiety, mania, irritability, low energy…  Finally, we created my personal care plan with goals and monthly targets- including reading literature on Distress Intolerance.  After leaving our very productive therapy session I felt so depressed!  The session reminded me of my weaknesses, my struggles and my brokenness.  It highlighted all these issues that I have and how much work I still need to do on myself.  It opened a door to self-loathing and self-pity.  It pushed me over the edge and as I was driving home I was thinking no man will ever love me; not with all this imperfection, with all this craziness and abnormality.  These repulsive thoughts dominated my mind for a couple of days because I didn’t take them to Jesus I decided to swim in the ugly pond of insecurity.  How fickle our emotions are- they toy with us and make us slaves to feeling.  I cancelled my Bible Study Group because I was feeling horrid and sat in front of my TV trying to distract myself from further thought.
An afternoon at the dog beach!

Nothing had changed from the moment I went into to my therapy session to the moment I left, only my thoughts and emotions.  I went from Christ centered to self-centered.  In the first book of Corinthians God asks us to be imitators of Him.  I do not recall a moment in Jesus’ ministry where He lost his heavenly focus especially when He faced great conflicts.  Instead He prayed.  I on the other hand lost all my joy and condemn myself to being unlovable, wow!  I didn’t rush to my heavenly Father for comfort nor did I abide in Him instead I focused on my problems, my fears and my weaknesses.  Goodness what a difficult week and all because I lost my focus!  Pope Francis said, “God never tires of forgiving us; we are the ones who tire of seeking his mercy.”  Isn’t that the beautiful truth!  God, our perfect, loving Father wants us to rush to Him always so that He can remind us that His strength is made perfect in our weaknesses so that our faith might rest in His power. People (myself included) have a tendency to focus on the problems and the pain, but God asks us to trust Him, to focus on Him.  As a result our relationship with God strengthens, our will becomes united to His and we become more useful to the mission (smile).  And He gives us peace and joy.  Children instinctively run to their parents when in need of comforting or faced with adversity, that's how we need to be with our Father in heaven; always running into His open arms. 

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Losing Weight to Make Room for God

One of the first questions I want to ask God when we meet face-to-face is why does everything that taste so good have so many calories (smile).  I shared before how after I started taking the medications for my bipolar disorder I gained a ton of weight because one of the side effects of the meds is major food cravings.  In addition, as I struggled to regain my sanity after a tremendous manic phase I started using food as a tool to make myself feel better- at times it felt like the only thing I had control over was what I put in my mouth.  To cover my anxiety I ate and eventually I realized that my coping mechanism (of abusing food) was not a healthy technique, but by then I had gained an excessive amount of weight.  I then began a series of failed attempts at controlling my food intake and trying to lose the weight.  Yet, no matter how hard I have tried I haven’t been successful at sticking to a diet and exercise routine.  The positive is that no matter how many times I fail I refuse to give up.  This week I started my latest attempt at getting healthy and my dog has been very supportive since it means more walks for him (smile)! 


Life has taken me on paths that I never thought I would travel; I mean if a younger, vainer me had learned that I would be a plus size woman before my thirties I wouldn’t have believed it.  However, I have learned a great deal about what life is like for a curvy person, like: what a pain it is to find boots that will fit your calves, or how walking in heels is more tiring the heavier one is, or how finding cute clothes that fit is such a challenge and how looking at one’s reflection can be utterly painful.  The thing is that as we mature our bodies are going to change for the worst and we hold the power to decide how we are going to embrace this inevitable change.  It took a few years for me to look at my plus size reflection and be at peace with what I saw – though there are still days when it’s a little harder to accept myself.  The things is that while I am trying to do what I can to lose the weight in the mean time I need to accept myself because this is who I am right now.  One of the reasons that I love my dog is because no matter what I look like he treats me with the same love and devotion.  It’s important for us to have that type of unconditional self-love especially if we are Christians!  Self-acceptance creates empathy making us better lovers- because I have been given this opportunity to experience firsthand what it’s like to be a curvaceous woman I now understand the difficult process of transitioning from a skinny girl to a chubby one. 

While this change appears to be superficial it has a lot of damaging effects if we let it.  Thus, it’s crucial to allow God to reach us and redeem us especially in the areas that we are disappointed with.  Maturing in love is about loving other’s especially when they are difficult to love or when they are no longer as hot as they used to be- even if that person is ourselves.  Society makes us into commodities bombarding us (especially women) with the idea that we are only worthy if we look a certain way, but God tells us that we are always worthy...  Society tells us that we are lovable according to certain criteria our physical beauty being a huge part, but God tells us that there’s nothing we can do to make Him love us more.  Society lies and God speaks truth.  His truth set's us free and self-acceptance is easier with Him on our side.     

Monday, April 7, 2014

The Joy of Evangelization

Receiving Blessing from Father


I think that one of the reasons that I am so drawn to evangelization is because my spiritual pilgrimage began at an Evangelical Old Catholic Church- I learned to treasure God’s word and to desire to share God’s love with others.  Then as I finally found my home in the Roman Catholic Church through the movement of Jovenes Para Cristo I started to admire the lay men and women that taught us in weekly spiritual talks, courses and retreats.  They preached God’s word and were like teachers of the faith.  I was so motivated that I asked God to send me to preach the Good News.  Yet, I ended in the prayer ministry and while others took the floor to proclaim the gospel I was locked in the chapel praying for them.  This would be my role for the following two years, yet my spirit yearned to speak to the masses to share my testimony.  Looking back now I see that God was evangelizing me first!  Sometimes we yearn to go and preach all these wonderful truths we find in God, forgetting that the first person we have to reach is ourselves.  Pope Francis wrote this great exhortation: The Joyof the Gospel: Evangelii Gaudium, in which he motivates us to be like the Samaritan woman and go share what God has done in our lives with others and to do so with joy.  The entire document is a jewel of wisdom and so easy to read if you want to be inspired and renewed read it!  It has so much substance yet, what caught my attention as pertaining to this post is that he urges us to transform ourselves in the process of trying to evangelize others.  In our hubris we can at times feel superior in our spirituality and like we no longer need to be transformed and renewed, yet our Pope reminds us that in the process of reaching others we must never forget to start the conversion with self!  Thus, do not deprive yourself of Christ thinking that you have graduated from the faith before you reach heaven.  I like to think of my Catholic faith as that of a child because the more I know the more I realize how much I don’t know (smile). 

The GAP dress and jacket, Bebe Cut-Out Heels-Yard Sale, Jewelry-Thrifted

When I returned to the Catholic Church, I was full of pride and I yearned to publicly declare my faith in religious settings, but God kept me hidden in the chapel.  In fact, I never got to publicly speak until I joined Life Teen last year.  Now as I share my faith in this forum I noticed that the person that is transforming the most by these posts is myself!  People that know me only through my blog sometimes erroneously classify me as this good, faithful woman and to those I want to tell you that if you want to admire someone admire Jesus!  If you desire to change become more like Jesus! “Though it is true that this mission demands great generosity on our part, it would be wrong to see it as a heroic individual undertaking, for it is first and foremost the Lord’s work, surpassing anything which we can see and understand. In every activity of evangelization, the primacy always belongs to God…”  We need to be vigilant that in our evangelizing attempts the one we are leading our brothers to is Christ and not ourselves.      



Thursday, April 3, 2014

Life Is A Seasonal Affair

Sweet Dreams

It’s a given that I am madly in love with my dog.  Almost eleven years ago after my first heartache I found myself staring at cute, little pup behind a glass wall and I remember trying to capture his attention, but the puppy just kept lying down without any desire to be disturbed out of his great sadness.  All of his siblings had been purchased and he was the last one left in the litter.  His sorrow was deep - it matched my very own.  After asking the salesperson for permission to hold my future dog and the little guy being unresponsive to my touch I knew that I had to bring him home.  I took out my credit card and without looking at the price I adopted him on the spot.  I have often thought about our first meeting and the beginning of our story.  While it saddens me deeply that he was confined to such an inhumane, small space for the first couple months of his existence and that he suffered being left behind after each of his brothers was purchased – in truth he was waiting for me to walk into his life.  Though nothing seemed to be happening (as he sat in his cage) God had predestined for the two of us to come across and to be each other’s saving grace!  A great sadness connected us – yet, out of our pain God created such a beautiful redemptive story.
I just wanna hold your paw!

When I get discouraged about things like not finding my one-and-only or feeling dissatisfaction with my career and especially when I get really blue and feel like a complete failure- I reflect on the story of my Dog and I and I realize that during the times when I feel stuck - God is at work.  Since God is never early or late, we must learn to enjoy the periods of respite.  I was reading about wine vines and how during the winter there’s not a whole lot of visible activity; but the plants are resting storing energy for the demands of spring.  That’s such a sweet image – I almost envy nature because unlike us, it knows exactly what to do throughout its lifespan.  You will never see a bush trying to be a tree or a daisy trying to be a tulip- they know what they are and they embrace it.  Furthermore, they know when to grow, when to blossom and when to stop producing to simply rest! I think in this hustling culture we devalue moments of little productivity or times of patient waiting.  Yet, life is a seasonal affair from the time of our conception we must learn to wait.  The mother waits nine months to meet her babe and from that point forward everything follows a melodic tempo with highs, lows and the often dismissed lateral phases.  The biggest virtue one can pick up is patience and a docile spirit to not be troubled during the rhythmic intervals and transitions of life.  That’s why when I contemplate on the difficult wait of my dog in his confined glass cage I feel joy knowing that God has a perfect plan and a perfect time to execute His plan for each of us (smile).  If I hadn’t been in so much pain over the demise of my first romantic relationship when I entered the pet store I wouldn’t have recognized my equally depressed dog and I would have missed out on one of the most beautiful experiences of my life!  Though pain brought us together the joy of a love so pure has kept us united.  Dollar & Penny, two silly, little creatures full of love for one another and a happiness that was certainly worth the wait!
This week my babe started coughing on Sunday and he’s almost eleven so I was really worried and afraid of taking him to the vet because I didn’t feel capable of receiving bad news.  But after a full body examination the vet concluded that Dollar has Bronchitis.  “Praise God!”  Am not sure if I will be able to let him go when the time comes, but I rely on God and trust that He will give me the strength to bare the separation for I know without a doubt that dogs go to heaven too- it wouldn’t be heaven without their loyal, sweet, pure animal souls!  Until then I am going to love him more, spoil him more and enjoy him more…  When I come home he always waits for me and does this energetic dance- as I enter the door he hops, smiles and flips- I hope that one day instinctively I will be that excited every time I come in the presence of my Lord (smile).